The linear thinking is inadequate in describing life, for a simple
reason: Life is non-linear. The same person can be at the top of the
world one day and at the bottom the next. He can be the best person in
one situation, with one set of people, and the worst person in another
situation with another set of people. The same person can be successful
in one place and a failure in another; and successful or failing in
different times. The variables that determine the human life are
multiple, varied and entirely unpredictable according to inadequate
linear models of thought.
An area of life in which this inadequate linear thinking is most
demonstrably wrong is in its choice of whom to listen to and whom to
ignore. The conventional wisdom - I call it conventional idiocy, which
it is most of the time - is that a person who's having a hard time is
not competent to help others. This, I believe, is the stupidest notion
in all of history.
A person who's had a perfect life has the least, not the most, to
teach others. It is through experience, both good and bad, that wisdom
is gained; through going through things that one could not possibly
have predicted; through being exposed to many influences; through going
through trials and building strength in situations with which he is
unfamiliar. The idea that one should keep his house clean in order
to be able to do anything for anyone else flies in the face of this
simple fact: That it is by exposing oneself to different kinds of
dirt that one gets an understanding of problems that other people can
face - and by developing immunity to different kinds of dirt that the
person becomes competent to help others.
It is therefore monstrous to deny people the op****tunity to leave bad
situations. As one builds strength and wisdom through trials, one has a
lot to share with other people - particularly the people who are not
their natural enemies but rather their natural allies or even people
who are neutral in how they see them. Having dealt with the worst in
the human nature, they become competent to assist others - to immunize
them from that which is wrong, to impart them the inner riches that
they developed in order to handle those situations, and to apply their
wisdom, bounty and emotional strength to those who would be otherwise
vulnerable to the wickedness in all of its different forms.
In the same way, I find that the true integrity - integrity that is a
virtue rather than a flaw - comes not from blindly staying true to the
ideas informing one's upbringing and ignoring everything else (what I
call the false integrity of blindness and ignorance), but rather from
exploring different ideas, cultures, beliefs and lifestyles and taking
the best of them all and weaving them into a synthesis. It is through
this process that knowledge is gained, and it is through the process of
many people doing this that every component culture, and ultimately
one's home culture, is enriched.
And it is through development of this knowledge that one gains the
understanding and wisdom in order to make truly informed choices that
are necessary for true responsibility.
Let me reiterate what I've just said. To make a truly responsible
choice, one has to understand the consequences of one's actions, and
that comes from complete and versatile understanding of the world.
Responsibility presupposes knowledge and wisdom, because otherwise one
does not know what course of action leads to which result and acts in
an ignorant manner - a manner that, being ignorant, is irresponsible.
To believe that one lives responsibly in absense of true knowledge and
wisdom and understanding is to make one's ignorance manifest through
all of one's actions and to come up with unintended consequences -
irresponsible consequences - for which one becomes responsible and
which continue to haunt him (and harm those closest to him) for the
rest of his life.
It is said that youth is wasted on the young. I have been blessed to
have had a rich, versatile youth that has exposed me to many different
lifestyles, cultures and beliefs. I found that my happiness had nothing
to do with what I had or whom I was with, but rather with developing
the attitude of gratitude. Having experienced what I have experienced,
and having gone through that change of attitude, before making
life-binding decisions like having children, I have been able to
appreciate being young and to make the most of my experience.
I consider the latter process - the process of exploration, development
and gaining in experiential wisdom of many lifestyles, cultures and
belief systems - to be of complete necessity before one is to have
children, as it would give one adequate understanding of the world to
give his children the right knowledge and ideas and wisdom that they
need to live responsibly.
Ilya Shambat.
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