Seeing M and G mainly these days. Pretty good friends. But G walked
duck**** all over the floor yesterday. Today both were over. M
talking Bangkok up again. I can imagine my self in some scenes having
a good time... mingling, exploring w/ M, the girls, opium, maybe the
beach at Phuket, the train trip... could all be good. neither has to
be as crazy wild or alien detached as I think I think. just the
ability to enjoy it, open up a bit, don't get stuck anywhere thinking
that's it. Anyway... I see D every couple of weeks maybe. T was
coming over a bit but not for a while since he went to Freo and back
to Nannup. J is pretty busy $$ and enjoying life trying to get his
cash up for his big plan, haven't seen him much. don't go to E's.
talking to cousin on the internet. A few online friends. I really
appreciate M's friend****p, but he picks his nose.
i respect him for alot of reasons other than that. it really ****ed
my trust in friends when he's conveyed perceptions so morally void but
i have seen him expand his sensitive intelligence
and there never any shadowy guilt to anything he does he's innocent in
his own eyes and that feeling influences others view... should the sun
be in doubt it would surely go out.
yeah that said i can't remain connected to people who are too far off
the track because i feel in some way sup****tive, besides any
disillusionment... tho that is massive.
i like to go over things i respect in people. in d it's his artistic
genius. in g it's his no bull****. j it's his nobility despite his
other inclinations, he is christian in a good way like that. e was
his deeper experience, and ive known him for longest... we were always
lumped together and mixed up in school. he is way zanier though i hope
but he's really cool when he's not in your face or talking about
conspiracies involving his mums pubic hair and eating people in
spaghetti, or having *** with the devil.
m is cool cos of his game approach to e verything and cheer. he brings
that energy in everywhere. he's one of those bright healthy stars
that have shon from birth through school and in the gutter without
seeing what all the negative fuss is about.. he still lives in this
little town with no great aspirations but he really likes it. we talk
about history and war, sometimes the paranormal which he is open to
but it 'tickles' me to see how non logical he and emotional takes over
when he tries to be way more stern and logical about anything else.
he loves the game of war and now i have that perspective because in
part of him beaming his point of view at me so well. the are ways to
criticize this for the moral line, but that doesn't really get in the
way of the basic ability to enjoy the differences in culture and how
they fight and have some sense of the experience of battle as an
enjoyable thing. we play fight as kids. dad didnt let me own a toy
gun and stuff like that, it's been a lesson to figure out that
violence can be enjoyed on a simple level and that it's natural. you
can then think clearer about it to and... that's what's really fun,
the strategy.
my cousin, i think he's amazing for his striving at his writing and
the success he is eventually making. i don't know what he thinks of
me though, he seems to be ok and then i think he wonders where im
coming from in my emails and i wish we were face to face because i can
attune to peoples actual response in real time-space.
/snip/couldn't until /snip/trust your word on /snip/ or had some
evidence to the contrary. /snip/ the distrust.
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