thats true for me too (spiritual deep)... thats a good way to put it
and i "do" feel that. whatever we mean by "do". thank you so much for
feeling that way about me i am glad to find people who actually think
something of me as i do of them but i am always afraid that exhaustion
or myself will change that, but i think the way we feel is differently
than that.
i am a product of multiculturalism in dna and in location so i dont
know what that means. do i take up everything? or do i take up
nothing becuz nothing but yoof culture was given to me?
one of the very im****tant reasons i want to attach the label to me is
for a less noble and more strategic reason than even that ! what i'd
like is if i ever wrote or people i know ever found secrets /snip/
it didn't to me for long time i disrespected anyone attaching themself
to the word like they were a bit retardish because experiences told me
to expect the worse...
'course im aware of the cool level of it and that "is" entering my
feelings more than it used to all playfully. i like to think of these
kinds of things from other peoples perspectives, like i love to see
horror movies with people who are scared but they do not have an
effect without a victim to share the experience. yeah i used to stand
back further and now i enjoy the other peoples perspective and some of
******** and the way i make it seem is more about how i want people to
see it around me and my thrill is in that but that's not entirely it i
am getting some serious benefit at the same time like the coming out
of the closet feeling and thats real.
they are all characters, in our minds, the god and devil and buddha,
they can be used and can be abused. we collect information and hold
onto the things we can use or the things we have been abused by,
sometimes we might be abused by one mind ****ing concept like god and
turn to the devil, sometimes though there are deep reasons, lots of em
really and im aware of teh smallness of the box but its what you do
with it.
feel like the sins i've done have been made a part of my process and
mind is rewiring. i feel out in my own open and stronger and closer to
who i am.....
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