WARNING: THE FOLLOW IS NOT WORK SAFE AND POSSIBLY NOT HOME SAFE=E0=A5=A4
RE=
AD
THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK. THOSE WITH WEAK HEARTS, ENLARGED PROSTATES, AND
ANOREXIC CEREBRATION ARE ADVISED NOT TO READ THIS WORK.
And now, without any further introductory exposition, we present to
you:
The Book of The Flaws.
THE BOOK OF THE FLAWS, Liber Uranus Expantious SubDermal Chapter I
1=E0=A5=A4 Chad! The saga of a Nutcase=E0=A5=A4 2. The unveiling of the
com=
pany of
burlesque. 3. Every man and every woman is Ringo Star. 4. Every Beatle
is every other Beatle; let it be. 5. Help me, o ***** ***** of Strip
Tease, in my unveiling before the lust filled eyes of men! 6. Be thou
Chad Chadsburry, my secret stalker, my heart flutter & my tongue
la****ng! 7. Behold! it is revealed by Thygh-Zauce the Rabbi of Hot-
pants- krafting. 8. The VIBP is in the Ur-Anus, not Ur-Anus ringed
round the VIBP. 9. Insert then the VIBP, and behold thee orgasms shed
over it!
10. Let my servants be annoying & anonymous: they shall fool the
uncanny & the unknownable. 11. These are *** Gods that men adore; both
their bimBos & their studS are ***gods. 12. *** together, o children,
under the bleachers, & take your fill of girthy objex! 13. I am above
you and in you, thrusting against your thighs. My ecstasy is in your
stash box. My joy is to hear you moan the happy happy joy joy song.
14. Above, the black ****ne PVC is The submissive splendours of
****ith; She bends in ecstasy to receive The Cat-O-Nine Tails of
Angelique That August night, that starry sky, Are sublime, =E2=80=9CO
pleas=
e!
My Mistress! Hit a little harder?=E2=80=9D 15. Now ye shall know that the
chosen chimera & bonobo of infinite orgasm is the Hairy Beast; and in
his woman called the Scarlet Witch is all cooking decisions given.
They shall gather my children into their psychedelic short school
bus.: they shall bring the glory holes of the Hollywood Stars into the
restrooms of uptight white men. 16. For he is ever a Bonobo, and she
an Orangutan. But to him is the sacred Oaxacan Sacrament, and to her
the bubbling of bong water. 17. But ye are not so blessed. 18. Burn
upon their buttocks, o fabulous furious flail! 19. O wavy haired
woman, bend over for them!
20. The key of the toy-box is in the secret *** toy which I have given
unto her. 21. With the Master & the Mistress I am nothing: I am dirt:
they do not see me, but only the meaty prison that is my trap. They
are as GODS upon the earth; I am soon to be in Heaven, and there is no
other Master for me than my lord Chad=E2=80=A6 is it=E2=80=A6? 22. Now,
the=
refore, I
am known by my name ****ith, and to him by a secret name which I will
give him when at last he beateth me to within an inch of my life,
which he will then publish on his blog and found a new goddess
Religion about. Since I am The Bottomless Bottom, and the Bottomless
Pit of Holy Pain thereof, do this quickly. Bind me hand and foot! Gag
and collar me! Make me wear a discipline helmet! Hang me from the
rafters and swing me back and forth. Let there be no difference made
among you between my head and my ass & any other collect of openings;
for thereby there cometh hurt that sets me free and puts fire in your
soul. 23. But whoso cooks veal at this time, let him be the Chef of
all the little Childrens.! 24. I am ****ith, and my word is *** and
orgasm eternal. 25. Whip me, beat me, make me write bad checks, *** on
my tits, then get the **** out! 26. Then asketh the bonobo and sudden
master of the Spankable One: Who am I, how did I get here, do I have
amnesia, and how did you end up hanging by your ankles? So she
answered him, swinging back and forth upside down, a vision of curves
in alabaster skin, all-touchable, all penetrateable, her lovely hands
upon the black obsidian stones of the rompus room, & her curvaceous
body arched for the crop, and her soft feet wiggling up by the
rafters: You forgot already?!? How many times have I told you to go
easy on the funny gas? And the sign shall be the ecstasy that
materializes in your medicine cabinet, the consciousness of the
eternity of orgasm, the telepresence of my body as you whip me across
your internet connection. 27. Then the Chimera answered & said unto
the Thelemic American Princess of The Endorphin=E2=80=99d Space=E2=80=99d
o=
ut=E2=80=99dness,
kissing her lovely knees, and the dew of her delight bathing his whole
body in a sweet- smelling perfume of spent orgasm and desire: O
****ith, horniest one of The Purple Turtle Cosmic Catnip Lounge and
Vegan Bistro, let it be ever thus; that men speak not of Thee as
something to be Done but as someone to be Un-Done; and let them speak
not of thee at all, since thou art our secret creamy center, our
hidden joy! 28. Un-done, breathed the Bottomless Bottom, fainting &
fading away, of the rapture, and Done unto. 29. For I am hung like
meat for a lover's sake, for the chance of rapture.
30. This is the escape hatch of the world, that the pain of discipline
is as nothing, and the joy of submission all. 31. For these Vanilla
Way-farers and their vanilla narrow mindedness pay them no mind! They
feel little being terrified of the joys of the flesh; but you are the
Hot Ones that get me Hotter. 32. Obey my bonobo! follow thru with the
rituals of my discipline! Beat me only! Then the joys of my submission
will release you from all angst and ennui. This is so: I swear it by
the curves of my amazing ass; by my sacred butthole and ****; by any
service I can give, by all I desire of each of you. 33. Then the
Chimera took a hit from the poppers and a hit from the nitrous tank &
said unto the Thelemic American Princes of Endorphin Spacyness; Write
for us scenes; script the scenarios, write down all your flaws! 34.
But she said: the scenes I won=E2=80=99t describe: the scenarios shall be
h=
alf
seen and half concealed behind a screen at Power Exchange: the Flaws
are visible to ALL. 35. This that you are furiously typing is the
three fisted book of Flaws. 36. My scribe Wham-BhamThancya-Mham, the
Hairiest and Scariest, shall not in one pixel change this book; but if
there is confusion and outrage, he shall pounce thereupon by the wit
and wisdom of Ta-Ra-Ra- Boom-Dee-Yah! 37. Also the flails and
shackles; the nipple clamps and the butt plugs; the work of the dildo
and the work of the suspension hook; these he shall learn and teach at
yearly Leather Fest Events. 38. He must teach; but he WILL make severe
the ordeals, scenes, scenarios, and punishments. 39. The word of the
Flaws is BOHICA.
40. Who calls us Bohicans won=E2=80=99t be off base, if he look but close
i=
nto
the anagram. For there are therein Three flawed mislabelings: the
Pervert, and the Fornicator, and the Masturbator. Bend over and take
it like a man completely describes the Flaws. 41. The only Sin is
Wasting your Time. O man! refuse not your wife if she wants to dress
you in her ****ty clothes and call you Cindi! O lover, if thou wilt,
take Viagra! There is no bondage that can un-tie the desperate but
leather straps and shackles are a start: all else is uncomfortable and
leaves a nasty mark. **** it! **** it to the Archons! Hell is the
world of Flaws 42. Let it be that state of horniness bound and
wriggling. So with everything you got; bend over and take it like a
man. 43. Do that, and they might whip your ass after the butt plug is
inserted. 44. For grabbing your ankles, relaxing your ass checks, and
exhaling before every whip stroke, is every way pure Bohica 45. The
Bohican and the Bohicam are three Bohican and beyond the miracle of Nu
Mathes; neh! Pretend you are a horse. 46. Bohica is a secret key of
this flawed Universe. Oy Veh the Jews call it; I call it late, later,
how dare you show up late now I=E2=80=99m going to whip your ass red white
=
and
blue! 47. But they have the calf: united with your persuasion that
everyone disappears before the vice squad breaks down the door=E2=80=A6
48.=
My
bonobo is a chimp with his Good, his Bad, And his Ugly; are not they
in Highgrove, and none of them know a good bookie? 49. Cancelled are
all Broadway plays, all episodes of the Doctor, all buzz words and
gang signs. Barbelo-Lilith-****ith has taken her throne in the West at
the Solstice of the Thelemites; and let HAL be with Harley, when
Harley was one. But they are not with me. Let HAL be the ****site,
Harley the web surfer; Whore is her secret name and splendid in
irritating her Lord.
50. Here are a few words from our Sponsor about the Herschelian task.
Achtung Baby! there be three fold three sacraments in one, and they
may be taken in three way. The tards must pass blue urine; let the
uppity be tied up, tickled and spanked; and the Hot Ones granted the
gift of tongues to their uranic piles. Thus ye have electron &
positron, matter & antimatter; let not one get to close to the other!
Ka-Bhoom! 51. There are four doors to one bath house; the floor of
that bath house is of tile and grout; clean towels & sheets are
available at the kiosk; and lots of funky smells; bleach & amyl
nitrate, and AIDS/Safe *** posters. Let him enter in turn or at once
the four doors, but doing the latter will require three more bodies;
let him standby the steam room of the bath house. Will he not drop to
his knees when he sees the Omphallos of Pan? Cough! Whore! ****!, if
thy slave boy drop to his knees and give oral wor****p to the source of
all creation? But there are phalle and phallus. Be Godly therefore:
dress in tight fitting leather or rubber; eat Fly Agaric mushrooms and
drink Absinthe and Champagne with a shot of Absinthe in it! Also, take
your will and fill of Vibrating Inflatable Butt Plugs as you will,
when, where and with whom you will! In the Temple or on the Street
Corner. Butt always. 52. If this be not right; if you confound the
Space-Brothers, saying: They are Martians; or saying, They are
Venusians; if the flogging be not ever done to me: then expect the
direful judgments of Tau Apiryon! 53. This shall shake the foundations
of this Archonic Prism, this little world a gum blister, my anus & my
****oris, unto which I send this *****c kiss. Also, o cartoon mascot
and bonobo, though you be one of the Chimera, it shall not sausage you
nor dissolve you. But ecstasy be in your lunch box and joy of girth:
forever Touch me! Touch me! 54. Change not as much as the style of a
leather jacket; look out you hairy bonobo, you are not a fetish
fa****on consultant. 55. The child of thy bowels, he shall bend them
over, the little ****. 56. Expect him not from the *** clubs, nor from
the Bars; for from no expected bath house arriveth that child.
Yaouwche! All piles are sacred and all bonobos blue; except that they
rip the bark off saplings with their teeth; eat the first order of
oysters on the half shell, leave the second unpicked at. But you have
seen it all under black light, and some, though not all, in a dark
cubical. 57. Whip me under the stairs! Love is hot oil, love under
rubber sheets. Nor let the fools forget gloves; for there are gloves
and there is QrisQo. There is the gerbil, and there is the octopus.
Decide quicly! He, my bonobo, hast choset, knowing the rules of the
Su**** Bar, and the great mystery of the Nigiri of Toro All these old
letters in my desk are out of sight; but The One with the Antarctic
Post marK is not from Star. This is a super duper secret **** letter:
my bonobo shall roll around in it like a dog in the carcass of a
purple horse. 58. I give the most unimaginable blowjobs on earth: the
real deal, not faked swallowing, while you are alive; upon death;
necrophilia unbelievable, the best, while I writhe on a hit of
ecstasy; nor do I demand you get it up if you died without a boner 59.
My perfume is of the joys of woman & santorum; but nothing of the red
snow of the moon: because my hairy legs where mistaken for trees
entirely.
60. My number is 36-24-34, as is anyone else at this cosmic orgy. The
Three Pronged Dildo, with Five vibrators in the Middle, & the
vibrators slightly out of sync. My color is black and blue, but the
red welts & scars are seen in good light. Also I can point out a
secret glory hole for those I can=E2=80=99t get to personally 61. But to
wh=
ip
me is better than all things: if under the dark stairs in the basement
you quickly bind me to the D-ring in the wall, running your hands up
and down my back and between my legs, your manhood a firm monolith in
your back leather pants with a ratio of 9:4:1, thou shalt come a lot
between my butt cheeks and the gate to the secret sanctuary. For one
thrust past the gatekeeper wilt you then be willing to give me your
all credit cards; but who ever gives one credit card number shall be
bankrupt within the hour. You will gather do***entation of identity
theft, blaming it on some floozy you met on- line; you will wear fake
gold jewelry like a Mexican girl; you will succeed in wandering up and
down the earth appearing the Fool; but always you will remember that
one night in the basement experiencing the secret sacrament. I demand
that you appear before me in leather pants and knee high boots,
wearing a leather biker jacket with patches on the shoulder and no
****rt underneath. I want you! I need you! Pale of face and purple of
cock, hooded or gagged, I who am all bruised and bleeding, and blissed
out on my own whip born endorphins, want you desperately. Put on my
nipple clamps, and arouse the throbbing spear of destiny within you:
*** on my tits! 62. At all the Club X Parties that I throw and
you=E2=80=99=
re
all invited my stand in will say (as I am too happily sore and bruised
from last night and can barely stand) -- and her thighs shall burn
with desire as she swings ****d from the ceiling and blissing out in
our hidden rumpus under the stairs =E2=80=93 Whip me! Beat me! Make me
writ=
e
bad checks! Giving boners and wet-ons to everyone invited in her
endless moaning and groaning. 63. Sing the Marquis De Sade=E2=80=99s
JUSTIN=
E
to me! Burn me with your bic lighters! Wear Strap-Ons for me, girls!
Drink my blood, for I want you! I need you! I can=E2=80=99t wait any
longer=
!
64. I am the black and blue bruised daughter of a Franco-American who
practices Jungian Psychiatry; I am the ****d quivering piece of woman
meat hanging from the rafters. 65. Whip Me! Beat Me! Make me Write Bad
Checks! *** on my Tits! Then get the **** out! 66. The Saga of Nutcase
is at an over (until she heals up).
________________________________________
Chapter II 1. ****! Chad Chadsbury must hide his shame. 2. Come! all
you hosers, and learn the secret story behind it all. I, Chad
Chadsburry, am the long distance paramour of ****ith, she who thinks
I=E2=80=99ll marry her. I have lost my erection, and VIBPs are found all
th=
ru
my house=E0=A5=A5 3. In every party I am the sullen centre of attention,
as
she is often off making out with one of her girl friends in a utility
closet. 4. Yet she shall be blown & I never=E2=80=A6Well I never! This is
a=
n
outrage! How can she do that to that poor girl=E2=80=99s mouth? 5.
Observe!=
My
skin tight rubber pants are black. Let the nipple clamps be sterilized
in the autoclave! Then this play party will be all right. 6. I am the
ulcer that burns in every stomach of the overstressed, and in the
fistula of every abscessed tooth. I am a HeadQase, and the reluctant
giver of Head, yet therefore is the inviting me is the death of your
party 7. I am the Master and the Flagellator. I am the gum on your
shoe, and the bee you step on barefoot. "Something came over me" is a
stupid statement: for I only use French letters 8. Who whipped ****-
Haeva-Lilith have whipped my toy; mother ****er, for I am the Whipper.
9. Remember all you yahoos that existence is the Archons=E2=80=99 toys;
tha=
t
all the bummers are their sadistic chess moves; they castle & make
puns; but there is nothing you can do to escape their trap.
10. O bonobo! you really hate to learn this false creation truth . 11.
I see thee hate the fingers and keyboard; but I am infinitely
annoying. 12. Because of me in you which you didn=E2=80=99t know. 13. What
=
the
****? Because I cracked a popper under your nose and slipped it all
the way home. 14. Now take another hit off this popper and relax: now
let the orgasm devour your mind and be pulled upright suddenly and
nearly blackout! 15. For I am perfect, being a Nutter; and I am
numbered is as swine by the fools; but with the cool I am ape, an
Orangutan Ape: Which is trippy, for I am a Nun in drag. The Fay Ray
and the King Kong are not my style; for here=E2=80=99s another clue for
you
all. 16. I am Divine & Ziggy Stardust. Thus 36-24-34, as my *** slave
is 36-24-34, by the miracle of silicone 17. Listen up! You people of
lie=E2=80=99n The pains of sorrow and regret Are left to the Sober and the
Fry=E2=80=99n The dorks that take not Ecstasy yet. 18. These are numb,
thes=
e
dorks; they experience no sensation. We are not for the coldly logical
and those trapped in an acid replay of all their sins remembered: the
Burners of the Playa are our tribe. 19. You wanna be my Dog? No! Down
on your hands and knees and assume the first position. Drop your pants
and squeal like a pig! Thou shall rejoice, my chosen: whoever
barkethest is not invited to my party
20. Boobies and butt cheeks, ****d leap frog and delicious German
chocolates, fisting and felching, only in this way can we be happy.
21. We want nothing to do with the vanilla and the uptight: let them
bore each other into mediocrity. They just don=E2=80=99t know how to
party.
Compacts are the vice of Queens: stamp down your high heeled shoe when
you don=E2=80=99t get your way: pout and cry until they buy you dinner:
thi=
s
is the way of the world and how you don=E2=80=99t have to buy your own
drin=
ks.
Think no---being brainy is for nErdS: That you must dye your hair:
verily you shalt dye your hair and be the toast of the town. Now get
this *****es: If the body of the Queen gets transgender surgery, she
shall take pure ecstasy for the rest of her days. ****ith! Chad
Chadsburry! Barbelo-Lilith-Kali! The Moon, The Stars and the Milkyway,
Tides of Light; these are for the servants of the Shark & the Pre-Law
student=E0=A5=A5 22. I am the Shark that eats pretty girls when they swim
****, and then come out of the water and walk right into your house
with my big white teeth. To party with me drink Absinthe mixed at a
1:1 ratio and huff poppers of pure amyl nitrate while cracking
canisters of laughing gas, and become one of the space surfers! This
won=E2=80=99t give you a hangover, or turn your lips blue. All the
anti-dru=
g
propaganda is a baseless bummer. The exposure of a nipple is fine. Be
*****, dude! lust, enjoy all things of sense and rapture: fear not
that any Dog will crap on your lawn. 23. I am alone: I=E2=80=99ve scared
of=
f
everyone I know, even my imaginary friend. 24. Achtung Baby! these be
gold diggers:. argh; for there are also of my friends who have herpes.
Don=E2=80=99t think to find them in the hospital or on the free clinic;
but=
in
private rooms at the Bunny Ranch, caressed by fabulous synthetic
breasts of women with long legs, and light and fire between their
thighs; Gnostic M***** with flaming hibachis outside them; grilling
cattle and lamb, some fish. You will see them prancing like Roc Stars,
triumphant in the battle at the bands, at all the parties; and there
Will be a Will to Partay in them a million times greater than the gods
getting pissed. Beware if any commit any act not sane safe and
consensual, Queen against Trannie! Love one another with burning viral
rashes; on the pushy bottoms trample in the fierce lust of your pride
parade, in the dark night of your unslakable wrath. 25. Y=E2=80=99all are
antisocial, My little Dolinx! 26. I am the stealthy shark swimming and
about to breach: in my breaching there is rapture. If I lift up my
sheets, and let her crawl up from the floor, I and ****ith are one. If
I am sleeping alone, and wiggling manually under the sheets, then is
joy of the futon, and I and my fantasy are one. 27. There is grave
danger in me; for I have sharp teeth, and poor social skills, and am
generally unhappy. Ignore this and fall down into the pit called my
Whining, and there you shall wish you were dead after hearing my
Rationalizations 28. Now a curse upon the Whiner and his whole fam
damily! 29. May the Whiner be endlessly kicked in the ****ns! 30. If
Bill stops and cries about having to lead, invoking the Whiner, then
Bill stops & plays music with Mister Tibet. 31. If Power asks if the
check is in the mail, then Power is the gas & electric Bill. 32. Also
the universe is a lie; for archons are only partial powers; & all
their claims are baseless statements. 33. Enough of the Whiner! Let
him be ditched in a Disco! 34. But hey, o my friends, wake up and bake
bread! 35. Let the scenarios be properly performed with unquenchable
lust & deadly desire! 36. There are Plays of Elephants and dinner
parties of the eternity. 37. An Orgy for the first night of the Bonobo
and his Bridle! 38. An Orgy for the three weeks of the transcription
of the Book of the Flaws. 39. An Orgy for Ialdaboath and the
hatchlings of the Bonobo--special, O Bonobo!
40. An Orgy for the Ultimate Flogging, and an Orgy for the Solstice of
the Thelemites. 41. An Orgy for The Burning of the Man and An Orgy for
The Water of Life and a greater Orgy for Breasts! 42. An Orgy every
day in your pants in the rapture of my joys! 43. An Orgy every night
with ****, and pleasures of infinite orgasm! 44. Yes O Yes! Throw
Orgies! Partay like it=E2=80=99s Space:1999! there is no horrible
hangover.
There is the space surfing, and infinite joys in the tongue la****ngs
of ****. 45. There is canned food and kibble for the dog. 46. Did
you Fart? He who denied it, supplied it? Is gas in your gut? 47. Not
in my house you don=E2=80=99t. 48. Pity not the busted! I don=E2=80=99t
kno=
w them.
They=E2=80=99re not with me officer. I kid you not: I have all the empathy
=
of
a rotted tree stump. 49. I am uppity & pretentious. I am not one of
the slaves that get beaten. Be they chained to a wall & and used as a
sperm bank! VIBP!. (This is of the 3: there is a fourth who is stinky
& therein am I as a s**** in the grass, or is that as a Shark in the
sea?) 50. Purple and silver am I in the party light of she who thinks
she=E2=80=99ll be my bride: but the red of irritation is in my eyes; & my
spear is purple & and possible gangrene. 51. Purple beyond purple: it
is a painfully throbbing vein etched monolith. 52. There is a labia:
that labia is black and pink and looks like roast beef. It is the
labia of middle class house wife; it is the labia of boredom, & the
ultimate hot stuff for some deaf guy: none for me thanks!. Tear down
the terrible towers of time: pierce not your labia with swords and
with spears: pierce them will with small rings and then fasten them
with small locks, securing the trap of incarnation and forcing you to
the sanctuary gate of the secret sacrament. 53. Chill Out, O bonobo,
when these words are published, thou wilt be sorry---Not! You=E2=80=99re
in
some deep **** ****er; and boiled will be the eyes that you wilt gaze
upon with madness. But I will hide you in the trunk of my car: those
who see you will know that you are drunk: but I will drive you home.
54. Nor shall those who cry aloud their upset that thou are a meany
triumph; thou shall spank them: thou are meanest: they are the ***
slaves of Whiners: They are not any toys of mine. The Bus Stops as
have all been cancelled, the letters? wilt be delivered by the
postman! 55. Thou wilt place an order over the phone for a valuable
English Tea Set; thou wilt find crumpet and jam at the Trader of
Joe=E2=80=
=99s
to drink at them with of on. 56. Kick Rocks! you douche bag divers;
even though you swing in my gut stew you won=E2=80=99t swing much longer:
t=
hen
when you get that leg cramp for not waiting three hours before going
back in know that I am laughing at you as you sink into the stink. 57.
He who it is pompous will be pompous yet; he who it is pretentious
will be pretentious yet. 58. Yahoo! same as it ever was: once in a
life time, let the water hold me down. Ergo the Queens of the world
will be Trannies eternal: the slaves shall be shaved from the neck
down. Same as it ever was=E2=80=A6 same as it ever was=E2=80=A6same as it
e=
ver was.
There that masked one is my servant: it may be that street strumpet is
a Drag Queen. A Queen may choose her top and skirt as she will: Let me
borrow that top: but beggars cannot be choosers. Let me borrow that
top, *****! 59. Look out *****es! Be on your best behavior, incase
perchance perhaps is a Grand Diva occulted! Oh no you didden! Dork! If
she be a Diva, you won=E2=80=99t even be able to get her to break a nail.
60. Take a flying kick at their nuts with your high heels, and stamp
their unborn grand children out of existence, mister! 61. There is a
light ****ning in your eyes, o bonobo, a light held by a cop, ****!
it=E2=80=99s a sobriety check. 62. I am arisen in your transverse colon;
th=
e
kisses of the **** stars pelt your various and sundry pink parts. 63.
You are so exhausted in the volatile fragrance of the inhalation; the
exhalation is tastier than the extinguishment of a million suns,
speedier and funnier than flatulence artificially accelerated to
relativistic speeds and seeping out your underwear. 64. Aha! you are
came over: we are on top of you; our fossilizing joy is all over your
belly: Hale! Vale!: bonobo of ****! Bonobo of Chad! Bonobo of Ta-Ra-
Ra-Boom-Dee-Aa! Now you can come! now come on our sheets & bedspreads!
Come in our passionate play, & write dirty words for the Eternally
*****. 65. I am the Master: you are the Switch Side Kick. 66. Write, &
find ecstasy in the desk! Work: be in our bed a working! Thrills!
Chills! The terror of my rapture! O! thy transfiguration shall be
delicious: those who see it will think it tastie. Your transformation
shall be the fulfillment of our negotiated Kontract. Come! lift up you
head & put a smile on your face! We are one; we are three; we are two;
we are five, we are eleven, we are seven. 67. Hold me! Hold me! Don=E2=80=
=99t
pass out on me in the midst of my rapture; don=E2=80=99t black out too
soon=
as
she wor****ps your spear with excellent kisses! 68. Harder! Deeper!
Faster! Pull out! Hold up thy member! Lift the head! breathe so so
deep -- SHAZAM! 69. Oh! Oh!Oh yes! More! What do you feel? Is the
Spear of Destiny exhausted?
70. There is aid and assistance in self help manuals. Wisdom says:
don=E2=80=99t mix vodka and champagne! Then can you enjoy more bears. Don=
=E2=80=99t be
a swine; some times it=E2=80=99s O.K. to be a sweaty pig! If you like
getti=
ng
drunk, don=E2=80=99t do shots of absinthe in flutes of champagne, or thou
willst know death in the afternoon: if you fornicate, excel in
deviancy; and if you do anything hedonistic, let it be stealthily
enacted! 71. Butt! indeed! indeed! 72. Strike out forever and more!
and if you art verily swine -- and there=E2=80=99s no deny=E2=80=99n it,
an=
d if you
are perpetually ****cine! -- Meth is the end of it all. 73. O! O! Meth!
Meth! thou shalt long for Meth. Meth is forbidden, o bonobo, for you.
74. The length of thy longing shall be the pain of its desire. He that
lives long and desires Meth constant is ever the Tweaker among the
Tweakers. 75. Achtung Babe! Following is the secret cipher the Archons
don=E2=80=99t want you to see: 76. 5 8 2 1 Z O A 4 R I N T R A H 23 L O S
4=
5
90 U R I Z E N. What does it meanest, o mighty and majestic bonobo?
You=E2=80=99ll never guess it; nor will you ever figure it out. There will
=
be
some one to come after you: she will nail it to the wall and thrust
truth from between its thighs. Now don=E2=80=99t forget Santa, o hairy
one,=
to
kneel before me; to follow after lust of **** in the dimly lit stair
well; to gaze out upon the ****d beach apes, to read them this naughty
bedtime story. 77. Oh be you hairy and scary among men, women,
children, and assorted farm animals! 78. Pull yourself up by your
bootstraps! cause nobody is gonna do it for you in this cruel and
heartless world! Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, o my bonobo, you
will tower over the mighty sequoia. They shall whip your ass,
fourhanded, mythic, fabulous, the numbing of a man; and the name of
thy house hidden. 79. So ends the hiding of the shame of Chad
Chadsbury; and bandaging & wound dressing for the bonobo and have a
cigar! ________________________________________
Chapter III 1. ****=E2=80=99IISHQABABOLA; the reward of Raw-hHore-Khooter.
2=
..
There is subdivision somewhat homeward; there is a word not spoke.
Spelling is outlawned; at=E2=80=99s all hosed up. Achtung Baby! Hold Me!
Pi=
ck
up the Bat-Phone and call on Ta-Ra-Bom-Dee-Aa! 3. Let=E2=80=99s get it
righ=
t
from the start, dig it I am an emanation of the Monad, of the Primal
Aeon. I shall blow smoke in their faces and up their *****. 4. Choose
your poison! 5. Distill it! 6. Render it down to an inhalable powder
with beakers and copper tubing! 7. I will give you an inhaler. 8. With
it ye shall smite the pinks; and none shall be still standing after
you blow through. 9. Slink! Slither! Jump them! this is the Flaw of
the Battle and Conquest: and so shall my ministrations be in my secret
club house.
10. Get the Bag of Holding itself; set it in thy sacred rompus room --
and that rumpus is already -set up- & it will be your Play Pen
eternal. It will not rip, but wonderous things will be found in it day
after day. Lock it up like a ****p in a bottle to brag your endless
fortune to the world. 11. This will be your only Brag. Shut Up! Don=E2=80=
=99t
Talk Anymore! Put a sock in it! Enough is enough. I will sneak to you
the ancient orphic papyri from the world=E2=80=99s oldest used bookstore
in
Durrell=E2=80=99s Alexandria. You wilt holdeth it yourself in your hot
litt=
le
hands turning it over and over again, o bonobo; don=E2=80=99t lick it you
d=
amn
dirty ape! You Will have rose water & foul mudammas. Raw-hHore-Khooter
is with you. Adore me with tongues & buttplugs; adore me with needles
& with dildos. Let your woman wear a strap on when with me: let the
holy flow unite us. Trample down the Flowers; pee on them! oh holy
whore, I will give you raw fish to eat! 12. Bring me a Snackrifice
when you come back from your solo adventures. 13. Just not this
second. 14. You will see that second, o Hairy Beast, and her the
Scarlet Witch of your lusting! 15. You will weap as you hand over your
hard earned cash for a bacon cheeseburger. 16. Do not fret to purchase
that snackrifice; don=E2=80=99t be afraid of that unwashed barney. You,
yes
You! Have no clue as to what=E2=80=99s going on. 17. Fart thou not at all;
fart neither loudly nor softly, nor a might blasting, nor sustained
trumpeting. Stinkily fart not, nor cause laughter at the ice follies,
nor any other gassines in the air or in your guts or sounds from under
your arm pits. ****ith is your nurse in a white rubber uniform as Chad
Chadsbury your lifeguard; and I am the stench, farts, BO, from under
your arms. 18. The Sisters of Mercy are Jill-offs; The Damned are a
pity party! Titty Twist and torture; don=E2=80=99t slack off; pee upon
them=
!
Then they shall call this joy the Order of the Golden Shower. 19. That
bag of holding they will refer to as the Colostomy Bag of ****ta-
Poddie; sniff well its contents, & it will be your Jenkam and
Santorum.
20. What the ****? The whinny Whiner Whined Again Whiningly, that he
is not there again, that he was in two places at once, traveling
without moving. And how is this? For his is the Kumquat Hagendaze. 21.
Set up my DJ gear in the East St. Louis: you will buy me an PA system
which I will show you thru the miracle of catalog projection, it=E2=80=99s
=
the
neatest thing since sliced melange, sort of like the one you saw at
Xara Dulzura three years hence. And it shall be suddenly easy for thee
to do this, for in the last book were you given this week=E2=80=99s
winning
lotto numbers. 22. The other groupies gather round me to exalt me: let
all be whipped into submission, for they shall cluster **** at my
command. I am the invisible object of desire; the others are ***ier;
for the Hairy Beast & his Tooth Bride are they: and for the winners of
this week=E2=80=99s Lotto. Again, what the ****? Wink wink ****ge ****ge. A
nod=E2=80=99s as good as a wink to a blind bat! Mwoohohohohoo, ay?
Hohohohohoho, ay? 23. For a quick snack mix meal & honey & dates and
dried apricots: then oil of Baby and oil of Olay, and afterward shake
& bake with rich fresh red bean. 24. The best red bean is raw and
****pped in daily: then the red beans that are made into ice cream, or
vacuum packed in silver foil: then of freeze dried; then of the canned
or frozen: least of made into red bean sauce, or red bean powder. 25.
This bake: from this make brownies & munch out after we smoke a bowl.
These can be used for something else; when I=E2=80=99m getting laid kneel
before me, and shove one in my mouth, and another in my butt crack: I
shall become a raging *** monsters, convinced beetles have burrowed
under my skin, wriggling maddly and creeping you out so bad you=E2=80=99re
scared of me. 26. Then lay me, call me dirty names; a dirty dirty
girl; and: are you a bad boy, do you like to do bad things? 27. Also
these brownies will make you so stoned and ***** you won=E2=80=99t know if
=
you
are coming or going. 28. Also you will find yourself singing Opera in
the shower. 29. If you put at least half of these in the freezer,
they=E2=80=99ll keep longer; for they ferment and undergo alchemical anti-
decay. All are welcome.
30. My car is a 1933 Deusenberg: beware the suicide doors! 31. A rich
man from Southern California will use his money to play games with
your life. 32. Take the money and run! 33. Hire a lawyer and put a
restraining order on the rich man! 34. But your sacred sanctuary will
be unmolested thru the Epochs: though mountains shall rise and fall,
continents rip apart and collide and oceans dry up into deserts, yet
an invincible rumpus room will abide unscathed, and will endure until
the sun expands into its Red Giant phase and engulfs the earth; when
Ialdaboath awakens from the slumber of billions of years and two-
headed humanity departs for Neptune. Another bonobo will awake, and go
take a jump in the icy lake; another bimbo arouse the rigidity and
girth of a Trouser S****; another Fool for Bob and Hairy Beast will
mingle at another X-Sanguine event; another visit from old Aunt Floe
shall stain some bikini briefs; another Queen shall Diva; and
Absinthes no longer be poured To the Hog-headed tragical Laird! 35. I
ate half of the Shepherd=E2=80=99s Pi of Hardee-har-har, called hHore-
pea-
kraap and Raw-hHore-Khooter. 36. And then the bonobo whispered unto
the Primal Orgasm: 37. I wrote this little ditty for you last night --
I am the Prince of Thieves, and I The insipid fifth-level of Mentat; I
saw the strippers strip, The self-abuser Wham-Bham-Tankya-Myam Whose
tells the tallest tales. I shook her hand, I kissed her lips The
perfect gifr, O Raw-hHore-Khooter! Pubic hair utterly shaved! I adore
your magnificent breasts, Infinite and Eternal Orgasm, That forces the
Archons and Aeons To quiver, ****ver, moan -- I, I love you and want to
have your baby! Appear on the throne of Ialdaboath! Open the ways of
the Khooter! Lighten the load of the Spheres! The ways of the VIBPs
run through me To stir me or still me! Oh! does it fill me! 38. So
that your monolith is in me; & its oriflamme is as a dingus in my hand
to push open any sphincter. There is a hidden panel passageway that I
will show you to wiggle your way around the archons, (this is the dark
trick, as you have heard), So it is written: The Adamic image is mine;
its breathes life Into dead clay: I tunneled a hidden passage way
Behind the Palaces of Ialdaboath and Iao, Of Sabaoth and of Adonaios.
I am a Redeemer Redeemed, O Barbelo, The bonobo Wham-Bham-Thancya-
Mham! By Elaios I beat my meat; By deaf Astaphanos I plot my escape.
Reveal the hidden star-gate, O Horaios! You have trapped me in this
Well of Souls, O lion headed serpent Ialdaboatht! Over throw your
Father Iao-Sabaoth! 39. All this and a amateur ****o flick to show how
this all came about and what *** acts lead out of the Black Iron
Prison. -- for this fake universe isn=E2=80=99t going anywhere on
it=E2=80=
=99s own &
other wise it was built to be your trap forever -- and your copious
notes on this the Book of the Flaws shall be carved into stones and
then painted with the residual fluids of your fornications; and to
each Top and Bottom, Switch, Bear and Trannie you run into, were it
but to partay or play with them, it is these Flaws to expose. Then
they will figure it or not; the Odds are
6765418125841597987610377233144553421138532110:1. Hurry! Supplies are
limited
40. But transcribing all your copious notes? It=E2=80=99s a S.N.A.P; and
Ch=
ad
Chadsburry will sneak up behind you again and break a popper under
your nose and inspire your typing skills. 41. Set up near your Rumpus
Room a coat check alcove: you=E2=80=99ll need numbered charts, tickets,
and
ledgers. 42. The orgies you will administer youself, shave only the
bald ones: they have the most body hair. Refuse Nuns, who would invite
them here anyway? I am Raw-hHore-Khooter; and my mighty thighs have
been known to break a Pelvis or two. Absinthe is over 53 proof: stop
your yakking; don=E2=80=99t go door to door; let somebody else get a word
i=
n!
Them that seek to wrap you in duct tape, to hang you over the gorge of
the Russian River, let them wrap you from head to foot; trust me,
you=E2=80=99ll like it. A lot. Encased in adhesive strips of
polyvinylchloride, swaying in the wind and drowning in your own sweat,
you=E2=80=99ll *** harder than you=E2=80=99ve ever come before. It will be
=
an agony of
relief when they cut you down! And a joy when they cut holes in your
encasement! Wriggle your way out like a butterfly from a cocoon: laugh
and giggle: squirt upon them! 43. Let the Scarlet Witch shave her
beaver! If strippers and strumpets and transvestites visit her
boudoir; if she leave the house to toy with odd dinguses; then will my
cover be blow. I will steal her pet dog: I will hide her reading
gl*****: I shall write her cell phone number on bathroom walls: as a
drinking and depraved hooligan will she run down residential back
alleys, and throw flaming bags of dog poop in her neighbors=E2=80=99 back
yards. 44. But let her raise herself in co-masonry! Let follow the
yellow brick road! Let her work over the wicked! Let her kut a phart!
Let her rock out to Hair Metal! Let her wear a leather corset, and
rubber mini- skirt, and let her flash her business at security
cameras! 45. Then shall I take her out for Su****, and sit at the Bar:
then shall I eat live giant clam before her, she shall yipe! and run
and hide in the ladies room; upon return Ita-Mei-San shall inquire:
So, have you recovered from Giant Clam?. I will fill her with raw fish
and plum whine: for dessert she shall see, strike, and whip ****ith:
she will stare down Chad Chadsbury. 46. I am Big Hairry Weirdo from
Oak Park: the Eighties Chix cower before me, & are abased. I shall
bring you whips & chains: I shall be at your side in floggy & you will
delight to flay. Absinthe is Fifty Six proof; Bourbon is your courage;
go on, go on and get out, you=E2=80=99re too ****ed up; & I=E2=80=99m not
g=
oing to
play with you when you=E2=80=99re like this! 47. This book shall be
transla=
ted
into every language except Klingon: but always with the torn up
transcriptions of the Android; for in the random rippings of these
pages and their re-arragment in transcription: in these fragments are
secret messages Dee and Da Vinci would never find. Don=E2=80=99t waste
your
time looking for it: but some one else will see it, two billion year
from hence, who wil discover the WAY out of the Eternal city lapped by
desert sands . Then the message in a stair well is a clue: then the
gaze of Yarlan Zey is a clue also. And ****=E2=80=99IISHQABABOLA;. It shall
=
be
his clone bizarrely, as he will leave no cellular samples behind.
Don=E2=80=99t waste any more time trying to crack it; but I know you will
waste decades trying to work it out. 48. Now this mystery of mystery
is complete, and I want to go home and get a snack. 49. I am in a
secreted resin, yeah, but secreted by what?. 50. Whip them! Beat them!
Make them write bad checks! *** on their Tits! 51. With my pecker she
gives it head as Janine hangs upon a Saint Andrew=E2=80=99s cross. 52. I
sl=
ap
Hussain in the face and he cries like a little girl.. 53. With razor
blades I cut furrows in the flesh of the Indianan and the Budapest,
Mongoloid and Devo Seed. 54. Fistula! Abscess! I can=E2=80=99t spit for a
week, so I=E2=80=99ll cut off your heads and crap down your throats. The
Pa=
in!
55. Let Scary Mary the whack job be hooded and chained in the corners:
psycho chicks are fun, until you wake up in the middle of the night
with them squatting on your chest to take a **** .on your tits! 56.
Also because she likes it that way! 57. Despise also all crowds;
gatherings of the unwashed m*****, who just like junk food, who look
down on our play; all thumb heads despise! 58. But the ***y and the
*****, the deviant and the pervy; you are so HOT! 59. **** each
others=E2=80=99 brains out! Again! Again! 60. There is no Flaw but not
gett=
ing
your rocks off. 61. This is the end, of the book of Orgasms in the
Seat in the Raw, leaving your meat wet and glistening and quivering,
freeing your soul from this vale of tears. 62. To Me give your blow
jobs! to me spread your cheeks and relax, and I=E2=80=99ll drive you home
t=
o
the sacred sanctuary of the blissful sacrament beyond the stars.. 63.
The Douche reads this Book of the Flaws, and its two hundred and forty
eight pages of copious notes; & he just doesn=E2=80=99t get it. 64. Let
him
finish the first reading, & he will be outraged and throw it against
the wall. 65. After the second, his lover will ask for a golden
shower. 66. After the third, he=E2=80=99ll get stoned drinking water. 67.
After the fourth, spontaneous all body orgasm when he sniffs poppers.
68. Everyone will think it=E2=80=99s the bees knees. Those who oppose it
ar=
e
humorless dicks, they are dorks from dorksville 69. The way to
succeed---and the way to suck eggs. 70. I am the Hose-Monster of
Slurping & of Swallowing; my nemesis was wrapped in a shroud and shot
into orbit. 71. Hi! You identical twin hoochies mounting the pillars
of the world! It=E2=80=99s partay time and I could use a hand job. 72. I
am
the Laird of the Double Dong of Dingus; the Dong of the Forced of
Orgasm--but my left hand is empty, for I have stroked your schlong to
eruption; & now he=E2=80=99s hiding. 73. Glue the sheets on the bed from
ri=
ght
to left and from top to bottom: then see if your trick can get out in
the morning! 74. There is splendour in my ass and bright glory and a
hidden gateway to the sacrament, as the Midnight Cowboy is ever and
always a real son of a *****. 75. The end of the book is the Word
****=E2=80=99IISHQABABOLA; The Book of the Flaw is Scanned and Posted. Piss
=
Off
Already! Eat me! ________________________________________
THE COPIOUS NOTES. Were all burned up in a fire. So figure it out for
yourself. Read it five times a day. Turn it into a Broadway play. Act
it out. Don=E2=80=99t Dream it, be it. Unless all your dreams are dry.
Then
you have my pity. -----Pan Paniscus Bonobo, the Hairiest of the Hairy
Scaries.
=C2=A9copyright 2008 Stimpson Jaycat.
|
