KP2008JUL10 YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP.
4:20 PM I feel like I'm in a fellini movie
.... of a kafka novel. I was browsing through
http://www.gold-eagle.com/editorials_01/seymour062001.html
when I had that now familiar sense of shock:
You can't make this stuff up.
Nobody would believe it ...
if it wasn't macabrely true.
I finally saw my landlord/friend.
While he was drill-sargeanting me
for failing to obey a direct order
to RELAX when he told me to, I had
the nerve to shout back I didn't
like being left with no materials
for two weeks. I soon learned that
when I called up asking for paint
[after I'd spent about two weeks
shooting four gallons], my voice was
QUIVERING! Considering I had just
done 4 hours of work in two weeks
of desperate last-ditch effort,
while my life was collapsing,
it's amazing I could talk at all.
I was DESPERATE to get the paint
so I could shoot the panels, put
them up, and be *DONE* with this
project that was stalled for 6
months by cold wet weather, while
I was nagged to finish it ASAP!
I want it done too!
I was right that he was ill.
The only reason he didn't go
to the hospital is: the last
time this happened, they kept
him for two days and ...
did absolutely nothing ...
besides bill him obscenely.
So he's under a lot of stress
what with dying and all, and he
didn't want to have to worry
about me and my high blood
pressure. So he stepped
up to the plate and took
responsibility for my health,
that I was so sorely lacking,
by FORCING me to relax and
do nothing but heal up, by
NOT GIVING ME the paint he
already had ... while promising
to bring it to me. In this
way he was bringing my blood
pressure down by forcing me
to relax. "There was NOTHING
that you needed to do in those
two weeks!" [that he knows or
cares about!]. My refusal to
obey orders to relax is mutiny,
and I quickly recanted before
he was forced by my obstinance
and ingratitude to hexecute me.
He doesn't want me painting
panels on the ground where
I can shuffle all around them
on my bum knee at the perfect
height to shoot paint ... he'd
prefer I wait until the shed is
built ... so I can climb a ladder!
It'll be much easier then!
He only goes to so much
trouble over me because
he really does love me.
The last time I was under so much
RELAXING NON-STRESS, I had mini-strokes.
You can't make this stuff up.
After a two week wait,
I used up the 3 gallons
he brought me in 3 hours.
Most but not all panels
are primed. None have
top coat. I got the
floor and walls up
that day, and the
roof up the next.
I still don't
have paint for it,
but he may not
care anymore.
At least it's UP,
and fastened
together. All
the pieces were
the right size,
and none left
over. Way Cool!
My design was perfect!
My panel construction
was plenty good enough!
My one-cripple crew did
mess up bad on leveling the
foundation, and my stupid
lazy foreman didn't even
bother to shuffle off
a few paces to eyeball
it, so we had an ...
OOOPS! moment framing,
but Instant Fudge and
redesign saved the day
for a woodshed built
of discarded materials.
I got back at them by
shorting their pay!
The shed looks pretty damn good!
At least it's not spread
all over the field in pieces!
I was reading through
some online news recently,
I think it was about politics
but I'm not sure at all, when
I came across a sentence that
shocked and thrilled me both:
"You can't make this stuff up."
It felt like my twin
soul was talking to me.
Someone else had
the very same reaction
to the same kind of
spinsane regurgiturd!
Outrageous mendacity
proves authenticity
.... beyond all doubt!
IT'S TRUE!
You CAN'T make this stuff up!
Someone else sees it too!
Since I got the shed up and
gathered a few of my half-wits,
I've been researching patents
again. Maybe it's a blessing
my attorney is too rich and too
busy for me! It's gotten a
LOT easier to file patents!
You can even do it online now!
It still hugely complex, but
legal jargon was my stock it
trade for years. Maybe I
can do my patent myself!
Another huge flash was someone
writing me about psoriasis and
directing me to his website:
www.curewithherbs.info
It says psoriasis [which I've
had for 40 years] AND arthritis
[which I've had BAD] AND high
blood pressure [which I have BAD]
ARE ALL CAUSED BY A VIRUS and can
be easily cured by herbal treatments.
WOW! THAT'S A STUNNING THOUGHT!
WAY COOL! It makes total sense to me!
Now, if I can just find out what virus it is,
and what herbs cure it, maybe I can get well.
Three "different" ailments healed in one shot?
That would be WAY COOL!
Being a cripple is so tiring.
It makes my feel positively old,
and really interferes with my day.
Swingtown is easily my favorite TV show.
I follow every episode with keen interest.
I'd trade 5 episodes of the Simpsons
[many of which I've seen] for another
Swingtown every week. It radiates love!
You can't make this stuff up.
O
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