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Re: Barely used Time Machine

by "Joe Biffel" <oberleutnant@[EMAIL PROTECTED] > May 28, 2007 at 01:17 AM

an ordinary full motorcycle helmet will do. Just make sure you have a
tinted 
visor because plasmic time warp radiation can blind you on longer trips.
Are 
you interested in buying?


"Spacy Bickerson" <drorer@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message 
news:caefb$465a2585$4275d2c9$16410@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> require specs of helmet please!!
> "Joe Biffel" <oberleutnant@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:xYb6i.228061$6m4.86177@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> I am selling a home built Time Machine. Comes with all specifications,
>> instruction manual (in pdf format), spare parts and a cup holder. I've
>> only
>> used it 2 times, and I have no desire to alter the history nor the 
>> future,
>> thus I want to get rid of this curse I had built in my mom's basement 1
>> year
>> ago. The project begun 4 years ago with my friend Raymond Basoon who
used
>> to
>> work at Area 51 and is currently employed at JPL. We both have degrees
in
>> engineering, interior design, strong typing skills and janitorial
>> expertise.
>> When employed at Area 51, Raymond was an assistant to the surgeon
general
>> during 7 Alien autopsies, and also reverse engineered 2 types of
crashed
>> extra terrestrial, cigar shaped aircraft. I had worked at JPL as well,
>> having been assigned to a crucial position in the mail room. After
hours
>> of
>> collaboration, Raymond and I concocted plans to built a Time Machine.
One
>> unit only. It is built of Titanium, stainless steel and rubber. The
>> complex
>> mathematics needed to calculate various time distortion cycles and
>> dimension
>> warps are handled by an onboard computer mounted at eye level. The time
>> and
>> date is punched in using a standart telephone numeric pad. Power is
>> generated from 30 electric motors that have been removed from 10 spd
>> blenders. The traveler is enclosed in a plastic/tin foil cockpit to
>> prevent
>> various dimension radiation waves and time travel fallout dust. The
frame
>> holds a comfortable polyester chair. The unit also includes a CD Player
>> and
>> 3 speakers. This unit is INCREDIBLE! If you want to wintess your own
>> birth,
>> the murder of your uncle or the opening of Expo '86, this delicate,
high
>> tech instrument will blow your mind. I'm not sure this type of
technology
>> is
>> legal therefore before you buy you have to sign a waver of confidence
and
>> secrecy. I just want to be safe from the CIA and the NSA. If you like
to
>> travel,
>> the ultimate trip is waiting for you in my garage. SERIOUS replies only
>> please. If you are interested in the purchase please send a statement
of
>> good health and eye sight signed by your doctor. WE DO NOT DELIVER.
>> Knowledge of Martial Arts helpfull when travelling. Please reply if you
>> are
>> interested in the purchase.
>>
>> Price  $59, 000
>> 3 day warranty.
>> Free bumper sticker
>> 2 hour tutorial
>> I'll also throw in my helmet.
>>
>> Reply to Joe Biffel.
>>
>> Disclaimer..... Joe Biffel or Raymond Basoon are not in any way
>> responsible
>> for any harm that might come to the travellers way while in the past or
>> the
>> future. The potential traveller must remember that during the passing
>> times,
>> society and culture has changed in many ways and this might impact the
>> perception of yourself by others. We suggest that you research the time
>> era
>> you're about to travel to thoroughly and dress appropriately to avoid
>> suspision and trouble.
>>
>>
>
>
 




 4 Posts in Topic:
FS: Barely used Time Machine
"Joe Biffel" &l  2007-05-27 09:13:01 
Re: Barely used Time Machine
"Spacy Bickerson&quo  2007-05-27 20:42:50 
Re: Barely used Time Machine
"Joe Biffel" &l  2007-05-28 01:17:40 
Re: Barely used Time Machine
"Joe Biffel" &l  2007-06-07 09:18:48 

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