I was just inspired to write the following eight tips for contestants
in con costume competitions. Copied from my LiveJournal entry (
http://www.livejournal.com/users/bobquasit/218673.html
):
1. This is a science fiction and fantasy convention. Don't wear
something that anyone could see on any mundane walking down the street.
If you simply HAVE to wear that plain brown dress, at least stick a
****ing antennae on your head and call yourself an alien!
2. No one except the workman****p judges will care that you used 3.48478
cm beading with a left-handed rawler and genuine alpaca-hide
feathering. Make a costume that's interesting to look at, or show us
some skin.
3. This is a costume contest, not a dance competition. Stop dancing.
Show the damned costume and get off the stage.
4. Stop hurting our ears. Record your music at a reasonable level.
5. Don't bore us with your interminable narration. We don't give a ****
about the history of Queen Aphasia, Empress of the Sixth Scrotumverse
or whatever the hell she is. We know damned well that she's your LARP
PC, and we don't care.
6. Have a sense of humor. One good laugh is worth ten thousand
hand-crafted beads. On second thought, make that ten million.
7. Take it easy on the host. Give your entry a pronouncable name. And
if your own name is unusual, include a phonetic translation.
8. Speed it up! Any entry that takes more than ten seconds to present
had damned well better be REALLY funny, feature an incredible special
effect (and no, special beading doesn't count), or be modeled by
someone seriously hot.
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