hedgehog <hedgehog@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in
news:d$0$yVF8xtAANwbR@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> In message <btndph$92bkl$2@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>,
> "Vicky =^,,^= cat" <nospam@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> writes
>>Anyone here? It's been quiet lately...
>>
>>Anyway, there's something I wouldn't mind discussing and
>>getting more opinions about.
>>Nearly two years ago we left busy, bustling (and anonymous)
>>North London, where house prices are stupidly high and you
>>never talk to your neighbours, and moved to South London,
>>to a much affordable, quieter, greener, safer,
>>community-oriented area. However, I had to soon notice that
>>the only Goths around are maybe the odd church and the
>>occasional babybat. The community here is largely made by
>>comfortable families or cheery God-fearing old dears. It's
>>an area with money and some people can be downright snobish
>>and stuck up. As I didn't know anyone in the area and I
>>don't work I was pretty desperate to make some friends, and
>>eventually I did, mostly through my daughter's little mates
>>at playgroup. And I couldn't help but notice how everyone
>>was so very different from me: either the
>>designer-s****t-gear enthusiasts or the ***-In-The-City
>>fa****onista types. So I started to tone my appearance down
>>a notch. It's still 'all black' but it's more 'plain' goth
>>than it would normally be. Gone is the PVC, the fishnet,
>>the lace. I do still indulge in slogan fitted tees, but
>>just once in a while. But I miss my old 'me'. Still, I do
>>want to fit in, at least a bit. Especially for the kids. I
>>don't want them to be, say, brushed aside because 'their
>>mum looks weird'. I don't want other parents to tell their
>>kids 'no, don't invite Tegwyn over to play, her mum is in a
>>weird cult' or stuff like that. But then I think, hey,
>>maybe I'm just paranoid and no-one really cares if I dress
>>the way I do. But how the hell do I know?!! Am I alone in
>>this? Do other Goth or punk mums have similar concerns? I'd
>>appreciate your comments... xx Victoria
>>
>>g o t h v i c a t h o t m a i l d o t c o m
>>
>>
> I'm new to this motherhood lark as my child is only 7 weeks
> old but I don't feel any need to change how I look. I think
> that she would not thank me for doing that. There is imho
> too much conformity, and the pressure to conform will come
> from outside anyway. At least if you're different your
> child has some model to balance their views with. I'm quite
> sure mine will soon embrace pink and be into the boy band
> of the day but I will simply have to accept that.
yup, parents have influence to some extent & we do have veto
power over the more outrageous clothing or music purchases up
until the teen years, but kids *will* be influenced by others
outside the home as well. that's why it's the *parent's* job
to establish the values they want thier kids to follow early.
> We all impose our opinions to a certain extent on our
> children, it's impossible not to. Mine for instance will
> not be setting foot in McDonalds until she can walk in and
> pay for it herself. But I have also had comments about
> vegetarianism and the assumption that because I'm a veggie
> I intend to bring my kid up as one. I don't. She can make
> up her own mind. But i don't see people making these high
> handed judgements against people who impose religious
> beliefs on their kids.
i guess you're in England? i personally loathe McDonald's,
but it appears that it's *the place* to hold kid's birthday
parties around here :p fortunately Boo isn't much on eating
junk, & is far more interested in the play areas there, so he
doesn't actually eat at the parties... hopefully the
McDonald's birthday party doesn't catch on there.
as far as raising vegetarian kids, it's not really a big
deal. i have a friend that raised 2 great boys on a
macrobiotic diet (which i think is somewhat more extreme than
being vegetarian). it's probably healthier to raise vegetarian
kids unless you have access to good grassfed beef &
organically raised chickens, etc. of course, your food
standards are higher than ours anyway... i'm primarily
vegetarian, but the SO & the kid are carnivores :) at least i
can say my 3.5 year old is NOT a picky eater. the only thing
he refuses to try is shrimp. he's not crazy about a few
things, but he will almost always at least eat one bite of
something unless he's just not hungry at all. 3 year olds live
on air sometimes...
>I don't think that many people will
> stop their kids coming over. And if they do are they the
> sort of people you want your kid mixing with anyway?
exactly. Boo gets invited to birthday parties & such all the
time now that he's in preschool. i don't really know any of
the parents well, but they aren't refusing to invite him
because his parents always wear black.
> Oh and to the person who says
> Goths/Punks/alternative types come from broken homes etc -
> my parents have been married for 48 years thank you very
> much.
he's a troll. i just don't have the energy to harrass him
today though. :)
my parents have been married for 52 years (53 in July). my
dad has a doctorate in electronic engineering & my mom was a
neonatal nurse (retired 5 years ago). we hardly fit his
stereotype, i think.
lee
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