Re: Taylor Behl Found

Tiny Human Ferret wrote:


> 
> --klaatu, who long since gave up on trying to pick anyone up
> 


Hey, well possibly that is the cause of your frustration
right there in your own words.

This may or may not apply to you, but I think it's quite common
for people who find themselves 'single' for just that little bit too
long to come to the conclusion it's because of an over riding
flaw in themselves: "I'm too boring/fat/old/ugly/nice/whatever".
So they give up trying, perhaps even shrinking away from
possible advances.

And so it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy; "I am so undesirable
I will avoid flirting with anyone / nobody flirts with me
so I must be undesirable".

[For some reason I'm reminded of the morbidly obese people who
regularly turn up on day time chat shows. They eat to too much
because they are depressed and they are depressed because they
eat too much.]

What inevitably makes it worse for the long term single person
is that they inevitably notice someone else _even more_ boring/
fat/old/ugly/whatever/or 'the complete bastard' going out with
the girl/guy of their dreams. Such is the power of self-delusion
that instead of coming to the obvious conclusion of; "well, if that
bastard can get such a lovely partner it should be so much easier
for me" it's distorted into; "I must be even more undesirable
than that bastard".

You know perhaps that girl of your dreams would much rather be
going out with you, but you didn't give her that option. She doesn't
even know you you exist - so who has she got to choose between?
It's the bastard and, erm, nobody else.

Jeez, what I'd give for someone 'nice' to chat me up for a change...


<hugs>