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Alternative > Mythology > dear diary, i d...
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dear diary, i didnt poo in my pants today

by the land surfer <pepp@[EMAIL PROTECTED] > Apr 24, 2007 at 08:45 AM

dear diary, i didnt poo in my pants today
+++

todays diary page contains

illegal activity

th usual terms and conditions
pertaining to my psychic blog
that talks to me in music


apply

+++


[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 17:40:12]
+++
Korn
'Korn - Dead Bodies Everywhere'
+++

wasnt goin to mention them

+++



[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 17:41:01]
+++
?
'Lock It - Falling Joys.mp3'
+++



[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 17:41:13]
+++
The Eagles
'Witchy Woman'
+++

ok

+++

in little brothers range rover

rocked thru th pension office


to put my forms in and

hit my first roof

+++

climbed aboard and

couldnt get nicole kidman out of my mind


**** off *****

+++


after th third hour

i was goin spare

+++

twenty five feet up
not much to think about


cmon brain

+++

now look
i did not
propose to ya on th net 

a yr to th day

before ya married keith


that's a myth

+++

**** off

+++

hit th fourth hour and
i near threw myself off th roof

+++

why  u in my mind ?

+++

has she found out about me ?


dont think so





why

+++

go for smoko
after th first roof and

all th boys tell mei s


we're goin to a high maintenance bugger



i got no address
followin th other trucks

we start drivin thru streets
all named after movie stars and


pull into a street
named after nickie kidman



ahhh

+++

[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 17:45:31]
+++
City High
'You dont know me'
+++

dont tell me
let me guess

th high maintenance *****
is in this little street

+++


just a  feeling

+++


it was

+++

drove me nuts
for four hours

before i turned into th street

+++

it's a holdover roof

so much **** to do on it

it'll run four days


and th eediot
who owns it
reconnected th rainwater tank

without tellin us

+++

dont u have a bite at me lady

+++

a little dirty water gone in yr tank
u were told




u dont talk to roofers that way

+++

dont care who ya are

+++

or when i paint yr barges

i'll make em seethru



which u wont catch for three yrs

+++

so high

+++

th paths are
too ****in clean

level five water restrictions

we clock evrything
walkin in th door

+++




[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 17:49:46]
+++
Pink Floyd
'Echoes'
+++

but th hose isnt connected

to th tap


and her front garden has died

lack of water

+++

wot **** sme is
not you dear


ppl demandin huge cleanup
worse

than when we were in

just level three

+++


more fussy now than ever

maybe they liek to see their paths hosed down


and so

leaf strewn and dirty
our cleanup takin forever

+++

if we worked fo rth government
oh i do


we'd be on stress leave

th looks ya get

throwin water down a  dirty roof

+++

if yr plants die

th bank wont foreclose on ya

+++

if we park th machine

how do we earn a living ?

+++


th infrastructure alone is

staggering

+++

u work on a  dirty roof

we wont

+++

not in this day and age

+++

in ten yrs
it'll all be done by cherry picker anyway

a human wont be allowwed to set foot on it

factor it in
in yr maintenance costs

+++


access

+++

another architect designed disaster

+++

least this one
hasnt just
put in a new timber deck

liek last weeks

+++

that was bright

+++

grand champion though
was th chick

who had th painter
comin to paint a wall


we were wa****n on top of


one of us
has to leave th job

for th day

+++


was nice though
th nxt day

to have smoko with th wall painters
we paintin th roof

+++

u guys dont get to smoke drugs
on th coppers rooves
while yr paintin em

+++


really ?

+++

th perks man

+++

not danger money

idiot money

+++

future echoes





get out of my head

+++


a high maintenance ***** hey

dificult with a capital  K

+++

i admit
i got th giggles

climbin on it

+++

chattin to my mate


about my weekend
down th edge of th island

with a hot redhead

+++

cmon man
yrs aint a real blonde

+++


we did curse very much and

liken th roof to th streets name


we had to dear

+++


didnt know
that end of town

had a street named after u

+++

it's a cute little street

+++

shoulda called it an overlook
they stuck her up high

+++

my head swam
this morning


my gift
not telling me

why
nickie was in my mind

+++

back home
a coupel of billies in


and some quiet contemplation

+++

i usually
only predict disasters

if i read th *****y magazines
correctly


keith goin into rehab
three months after they got married

wasnt a good sign

+++


all duly backwards 


hey it;s real magic

for every action
there's an equal and opposite reaction


applys to magic too



but

ya married a guy



who lived
twenty k's down th road

a ten minute drive away

+++

ok
maybe 7

+++

future echoes

bounding into me

+++

12 mnths to th day

after i flipped out


**** i

proposed to a woman


and only

one woman


insanity


oh it's alright

she's safely married now

+++

it never happened ok nickie

+++

still knockin me around

+++

after th fourth hour


this morning



ok brain
why u still got this woman on yr mind

+++

like a brick wall

slamming into my head


when we pulled into th little street

+++

high maintenance ya said

+++


if i

had just once



read th job book

this morning


i coulda saved myself a lot of grief

+++

but then
i wouldnt be the
witchdoctor of australia


now would i

+++


prove me wrong nickie

dont let it be a disaster

+++

otherwsie i have to cling to

well at least no-one died this time

+++

from th future echoes

+++

th future coming out of my keyboard
backwards and

distorted

+++

but normally
seven days

before it happens

+++

th one thing
th nickie kidman thing did


was give us a handle on
time

+++

june 25

was also th date


i started

this diary

+++

back in 2001

+++

7 days
before th senior feds

aussies

bought it in 
indo

i was seein
dead hippies


takin th contract sorry
to whack some hippies

+++

i tried to warn em

we do wot we can

+++

but of course


7 days before th garuda plane crashed


we said we saw

a terrorist incident and


went a little screwy

dont like writin


psychic clues

to terrorist incidents

+++


so hard

+++

came out of
june 25 and


england was to get

july seven bombings

i jumped into a

shakespear newsgroup
and

screamed at th english but
to no avail

+++

still cant read my diary from that week

+++


[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 18:15:55]
+++
Machine Gun Fellatio
'Mouth'
+++

posting 12 pages a day from
the oracle of kuta


wi th many names

+++

sure sign
somethin nasty about t happen

+++

oh yeah
i was gunna declare war on
england

after june 30 if
certain conditions werent met



when ya write
backwards psychic clues


7 days before th event



july seven


london bombed

+++

left me fully 
compromised and

+++

hmm

+++


no-one noticed 

+++

ya cant predict these things


oh good



u wont get up me for what i said

7 days before that oen then

+++



lessee


7 days before aceh


tsunami killed 230000


i was seein a






big splash

+++


[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 18:19:15]
+++
City High
'15 Will get you 20'
+++

big wave

eighty five feet

+++

city high

hey kuta

+++

ah ****

i asked for a big wave

online



for retaliation
for a terrorist incident

that hadnt happened yet



do i claim these as psychic kills ?

+++

wot about
th night before th

northern pakistan earthquake

when i pointed th bone of death

at the islamic terrorist ****s


a hundred thousand died


th nxt day

+++

i know
only one day;s

notice

i was in bad mood ok


****in sue me

+++

7 days after
kuta beach bombing
mark two

+++

but i avenged kuta beach

+++

pointed the boen of death at
dr deatha nd

dr azahari

bomb maker for both
kuta beach bombings

died 12 days later





balancing


me ridin my uncicyle

over th mountain of kuta

12 days before the first

kuta beach bombing

+++

[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 18:22:50]
+++
Blink-182
'Blink-182 - Enthused'
+++

enthused ?

i dont think so

no ****er cares


it;s oz

+++

most magical land
on th planet and

th most blind inhabitants

+++



[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 18:26:34]
+++
The Kinks
'All Day and All Of The Night'
+++

strange inhabitants

their history books say

the australian aboriginal witchdoctor
can only kill u

by pointing th bone of death at u


if u know about it

cause that's wot kills u




i'll just ask one of my victims


christopher skase

[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 18:28:11]
+++
Lupe Fiasco (feat. Jill Scott)
'Daydreaming'
+++

no he's dead

+++

dragegd him to his death
behind my car

in this diary

7 days before

he died of natural causes in spain

+++


only page two of this diary

live on th net



psychic killer witchdcotor

i dont think dear departed christopher


saw it coming

+++

strange land

+++

he stole a lot of our money
aussies that is

a lot

+++


he deserved it

+++

a sweet kill for kuta man

black honey man


+++

not takin european bees

on board th space ****ps


they got stings


just kuta bees

+++

still make honey and

a psychic hive besides

+++



[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 18:32:09]
+++
Kate Bush
'Cloudbusting'
+++

when's th rain coming kuta

even th straights

are startin to think


it swervin around th dams

+++

"work on yr recycled water ya ****s"
"We're goin into space"



"planet's ****ed"
"we WILL NOT beat global warming"

+++

a difference of opinion
in my twin souls

+++

can i get into yr pants

i just **** in mine

+++

yr firm about that

"positive"


we better learn how to burn h2o then

+++

th problem with burning water
so th future tells me is

keepin th temperature down

+++

we put fires out with it

i'm goin with wot einstein said

+++

when th pommies
firestormed that
german town

th water caught fire

+++


[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 18:37:24]
+++
Linkin Park
'Step Up'
+++


down by th park

+++

CAD


the council for aesthetic deletions

had some words to say


in this diary

7 days before th garuda disastser


10 dead hippies sitting th wall

titled page


i took th contract

i knew in th back of my mind



i wasnt whackin hippies


dead opposite

+++

but i did
chat to th king of th hippies

in that page

+++


it's all backwards man

but i know why

+++

th reason

for einsteins law


action = opposite reaction

+++


cause the infinitely large universe
is made out of
infinitely small particles


else th law doesnt make sense

+++



[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 18:41:26]
+++
B-52's
'Rock Lobster'
+++

we know th why's

of th uni verse

+++

dusk has passed and

i havent surfe don my uni cycle yet


later much

..
..
..


pirat ejenny
"black"

'the land surfer"
+++
p.s.

can i ask a stupid question ?


oh i dont
read comments

that wont work

+++




[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 18:43:51]
+++
A Perfect Circle
'Orestes'
+++
 




 1 Posts in Topic:
dear diary, i didnt poo in my pants today
the land surfer <pepp@  2007-04-24 08:45:29 

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tan12V112 Thu Jul 24 5:18:51 CDT 2008.