safety is no object
+++
play **** ya
+++
violent femmes
'black girls'
+++
i was unicycle surfin up this
strange road and
shot out of th cul de sac and up a
strange bike path
half covered in run off sand and
th light failing
and this dirty great big rottweiler dog
slammed into th fence beside me
+++
havin only had
four cones of marijuana
+++
black eyed peas
'my humps'
+++
i naturally didnt fall off
but i did keep lookin around
to see if th big black ****in mungrel
could get thru th fence
and it had been such a nice ride thru th new estate
+++
new bitumen
you know
+++
next time i come thru
ya fat *****
i'll ****n scare
you
+++
black
hey man
look
just caue ya had a helmet one does not mean
ya have to stop th peak hour traffic
to cross th road
rode thru th middle of it and
lost
"this guy stopped nd let me thru"
see th guy
who got cut off on th roundabout
cause we went over the top
ah well
+++
more smiled than frowned
i was mostly on th wrong side of th road
safest place for a unicycle
+++
**** u ppl drive fast down that road
glad i dont have kids there
scared **** out of you hey man
****in girls bike rider
+++
"worse"
"he got four wheels"
+++
a small **** bricks he had
+++
do re mi
'track 15'
+++
course i
continued on
after he panicked and
jumped over th traffic island
sure footed
big mountain unicycle arent ya
+++
it was definitely th wrong time of day
to fly a unicycle stoned
peak hour thru warner village
too bad
+++
marianne faithful
'pirate jenny'
+++
i might be
avoidin th big crowds but
i'm still gettin cars tootin their horns and
devil signs
+++
i just cant
ride that patch of road without
hittin th grass bank up th side
playin in th drain
+++
no clay in th bottom of it
thankfully
i ****in made it
to th opposite side
i was gunna yell at th unicycle but
we didnt **** up
+++
ok black th
new estate has a lot better bitumen than th
new mc donalds carpark
it's just a fun flip flop man
"then just say that then"
it's a wicked dogleg with
cars comin out of th orifice
cool as
+++
when's mum's birthday ?
"on th full moon"
+++
can feel that dirty big
almost full moon
after she comes up th sky
+++
th unicycle gets
frisky
+++
i checked out th big drain and
th moss has got it pretty solid
i'd prefer to see a girls biek go up it first
"just so can flog th ****"
now now paulo
+++
paul young
'love of the common people'
+++
one wheel good
two wheels bad
girls bike
+++
"quiet , it's been two whole weeks since i "
"dropped into a skatebowl on a unicycle"
that's recent isnt it ?
+++
costs five bucks to get there
more if it's
later in th week
petrol
+++
i still wanna know why we were wearin a helmet
"we played up worse didnt we"
oh yeah
blocked all th traffic
many times
"****in clown"
+++
i;ve done time
communtiy service time
drinkin coffee in th steam museum
for not wearing a safety helmet on a unicycle
+++
will smith
'switch'
+++
****s reckon it;s a bicycle
and they say th world is sane
+++
i dont ride a girls bike ****
+++
and if i do
i make sure i';m ****in disguised
+++
sorry psychic blog
we're outta here again
today
+++
dont know if i
be posting on sep21 or not
probly dont matter anyway
care factor
+++
i'll make six months
+++
blur
'girls and boys'
+++
before i again
surf on my unicycle thru
queensland's
fortitude valley
in th capital city
+++
at midnight
dodgin th
lesbians and
gay guys and
straights and
pretenders
+++
"punks"
th dance crowd
"lotsa ppl"
+++
mindless missiles
+++
"lotsa wasted ppl"
+++
take my wheel and
my voice box and
pull a sensitive artist
+++
i sang
on weekends at night
in th valley
that i hate safety bicycles
and everything they represent
abused th girls bikes
even th ones that had motors
+++
when th local council fined me for ridin a
safety bicycle
thru their mall
i chucked a spaz
+++
i dont think so
+++
th ppl round here go off
when i jump off th gutters
same as
+++
besides
as paulo points out
i got laid int h doorway of a nightcllub
unicycle surfin in
surfers paradise
the fortitude valley
+++
powderfinger
'pockets'
+++
like most things
didnt live up to its name
liek ****in th pub prickteaser
worst root in th lot
+++
i miss
singin and drummin in th buskers jam
on a sunday morn
+++
but it's time to bop country lanes
like that guy on that pu****e
th other night round midnight
i sailed off th bike path
runnin no lights
he wasnt either
and we were both
fully cut
+++
hair down
no helmet
hair gettin in th way when i head turn to see
can i jump this island without
a ****in car comin along
+++
i take it black
u nabbed wot ya need off th net
+++
be that way
+++
city high
'didnt ya'
+++
"i did"
took th ****in computer to answer for ya
+++
he's put in his **** order
i wont squeeze another page up
+++
look diary
+++
jewel
'sometimes it be that way'
+++
my stars were ominous
sorry i was readin th local rag
hey they're havin a bmx bandits
dirt bicycle race next weekend
black ?
+++
1200 techniques
'karma'
+++
"i can kill you and make th reason up later"
so
+++
look
i know i was banned t mention it but
+++
"th big drain looked ridable"
it did
when we get a bit more sun
got accused of bein white today
+++
up hill
up th drain
ridin in th moss
<<<smile >>>
gunna smoek some more drugs just
thinkin about it
+++
i see yr deal size has improved a heap girl
amazin wot
havin a coupel of dealers can do
+++
i dont measure it
i dont even look at it
particualrly well
+++
mash ups
'Blvd of Broken Songs' (Green Day & Oasis mash-up)
+++
but i know what's good and bad
+++
i broke new territory today
wandered into th new estate and
ppl same as everywhere else
borin and
bored ppl
smilin at me
+++
was too stoned this arv
and dug in behind th
mirror blue sungl*****
dont need em much
my eyes designed to be here
+++
george
'breathe in now'
+++
i liek that
"wot"
i drop a line on
eyes
and
next song is
breathe
"it dont have enough matches"
"too small a sample size"
"926 songs"
+++
i see it th other way
+++
my clue to th song title is
eyes
+++
that's a match isnt it ?
+++
is cryptic this
opening yr mind
+++
"mirror blue sungl***** is"
"morticia maybe and"
"she lived bhind her sunnies"
"gave u this song"
+++
she liked cryptic crosswords
+++
sopranos theme song
'woke up this morning'
+++
would climb out of bed at
six am
ish
when i got in from
surfers paradise
entertaining
and **** me stupid
leavin facepaint
everywhere
+++
[deleted]
+++
be polite
+++
th head witch of th gold coast and
the unicycle man
have had words
+++
"they werent good words"
+++
ya ****ed her for three yrs
let th ***** go
+++
"and who left morticia's house to"
"go sleep at sabrinas"
she was my girlfriend
+++
"no wonder yr single
"ya keep goin out with two"
"twice th emotion"
"bee ****ed"
+++
radiohead
'everything in it;s place'
+++
yeah yeah
there are two colours in my head
+++
i'm white
he's black and we
generally **** different women
what are ya gunna do
+++
"well not do it in an online blog"
we doen that already
was funny as ****
+++
those diary pages i can generally
go back and read
+++
it's times liek these
i remember parkin my motorcycle in my party house
back at the farm
inside th kuta volcano
the gap
+++
**** man
if i kept a diary when
we'd have two hundred inhabitants on a
w
eeknight
+++
i gotta stop smokin drugs now fellas
no i'm not goin to bed
drivin a truck haulin fat in
about ten minutes
a hotbread kitchen run
we start at three am
+++
chris isaak
'baby did a bad bad thing'
+++
nah i'm still
drivin a truck in th showground
this is a sideline like
+++
and hoem on a wednesday
bout lunchtime
it was th only time
i got quality time with my old lady
th misssus
+++
course i'd have t wake er up
+++
system of a down
'byob'
+++
we shouldnt have tried them ludes hey girl
+++
i'm sorry i left ya at that party and
sloped off with another chick
+++
same girl i
got off th little
kawasaki
100cc
and thought i was ridin th
1100cc sidecar
no sidestand
just got off and
walked away
she's asleep on th back and
CRASH
oh dear
someone's gunna have to clean that up
+++
i did say sorry
+++
got five motorbikes
dont know which one i'm riding
+++
they're all called jane
after about
six months
they all
answer to jane
true
+++
**** off tarz
wot are you doin here ?
"just pissin on th potplants"
that's a syringe full of piss then
"i'm polite"
+++
the verve
'catching the butterfly'
+++
select medium size shotgun
"not th budgie hunting rifle"
+++
indoor budgie hunting
it;s ****in sick but
you know you want to
+++
release th budgies
+++
th trick is
dont blow th windows out
or th ****ers get outside
+++
i hit this low flying tree
this arv
on th uni and
my helmet hit th branch above me
spring growth
all th shrubs need cuttin
and this bunch of lorikeets
sprung out of it like
man did they move
+++
some ****er would wanna
play
release th king parrots
and price it up
+++
"how about big game hunting"
"indoors"
"release th black leopards"
+++
fly be free
BANG
+++
it was a nail gun
+++
"yr a sick **** jenny"
+++
robin trower
'night'
+++
nine inch nails
'**** you like an animal'
+++
"oh ok"
+++
"i cant see ya nailgunning a big cats paw"
"to th floor"
"after"
"you;ve set it free"
+++
nine inch nails fly
fast
+++
speakin of fast
v8 just pulled in
+++
"i go say gday , coffee ?"
yes pls
..
..
..
kevin bloody wilson
'wow did i get whacked'
+++
"friday's loookin good"
excellent
gotta buy soem body filler
+++
"it's a nice mix that dope"
i even cut it with backie
"sacriledge"
+++
and probly tell ya
yr a damn fine ***** adornment
brush yr hair girl
ya makin me look bad
+++
now how did this bit get here
no dont answer that paulo
i was whacked
swear it was firther up th page
and then i went away
and made a cuppa
hmmm
+++
nothin on tomorrow
+++
th mullbowl nice and full and
two days off th full moon and
a gorgeous unicycle
+++
the black eyed peas
'labor day'(its a holiday)
+++
<<<smiel >>>
+++
it was sposed to be oen of these
<<< smile >>>
i musta gone **** up
+++
nothing on tomorrow
it's a holdiay
"yeah but it was in"
"th memory segment before where it's sposed t be"
+++
th next bit was
corroborating evidence
+++
"it'll never nail down"
"solid"
+++
it;s got no rules
+++
placebo
'running up that hill'
+++
which i'd place from th lyrics
inside th song
if i could make a deal with god
and get him to swap our places
+++
see
+++
"good got"
+++
harvey danger
'flagpole sitta''
+++
good god
what is that young man doing ?
+++
riding a unicycle over th roundabout
THROUGH
th flower bed
hmmm
+++
he musn't care about tomorrow
+++
not to cut cars off that are
going eighty kilometres an hour
+++
is he even going to react
to the cars
he must own the road
+++
"mellow out old *****"'
"six yrs goin hard on a solo wheel and i"
"dont find things i cant ride over anymore"
+++
wonder wot she said when we hit th surf
+++
bjork
'big time sensuality'
+++
havent ya ever seen a tranny dance
on a unicycle in th surf before ****head ?
"well probably not"
+++
i just love it when th wave breaks and
collapses and we ride th curl in
in th back of th wave and it
gets turbo boost
+++
"th drains are fun too"
we'llbe back big beach
th 26
th tyre was too wide but
we'llmake another skinny tyre
27
it'stoo much ****in fun
and
th half bicycle frame was
perfect
least drag thru th white water
she'd go
foot and half without
losin her way
+++
she's back in th shed
th old beast
beach sand and unicycles is a bit liek
beach sand and girls
+++
train
'drops of jupiter'
+++
hmmm
+++
i suppose
there's an awful lot of rocks
in th old unicycle hub and
drops of jupiter would be moons and
rocks and ****
+++
th rocks get in th way
no matter how wet
+++
do i really
wanna hit th main beach
in daylight
at low tide and
have to stop and be polite to
shudder
blondes
+++
worse
she wants a photo with me
+++
i been here so many times
before and
blondes just dont **** good
know wot i mean
+++
common as
****in everywhere
+++
always standin in th best wave
th blonde
+++
flying lizards
'the best things in life are free'(i want mony)
+++
th redhead
runs up and asks for a light
polite
+++
even if she forgets her lines in
five minutes
+++
"she's a model with a bodyguard and u picked a fight with er"
verbal
+++
"she sent th bodyguard away"
+++
machine gun fellatio
'just bcoz'
+++
drop dead gorgeous model
why's she stoppin me ?
to stop have a smoke
and a chat
because i'm surfin on a unicycle
dancin in th waves
+++
but my male side
black
th wizard
he bought a lighter he didnt need
five minutes earlier
from th shop
+++
pretty but
yr not magic enough to
****
+++
th mind*** would be
boring
+++
i wondered why
i'd just bought another lighter
had to walk th unicycle off th beach
thru th white sand and i
****in hate
walkin
thru th soft sand
a standard uni just wont
+++
sugababes
'overload'
+++
but ya gotta try right
at speed
+++
th right shaped beach
with th right tide
th slope just right and
no stingrays inth shallows
doin somersaults
off th unicycle
into th backs of th waves
+++
"i've done it on th wrong beach"
with a shark fin on top of th helmet
left a gouge
+++
we'll be back big beach
early spring now and
we're back in training mode
ten k's or so
minimum a day
+++
it'll be summer man
"it'll be good when it happens"
it will
"does it matter when it happens then?"
+++
"it's special enough to only do a couple times a year"
+++
everythin in moderation
"somethin like that"
+++
budgie
'crash course in brain surgery'
+++
ouch
just a little off th side thanks
+++
breadfan played today
"yeah we ran into bainsey today"
+++
how does th computer know ?
it's a random number generator
+++
'chaos theory"
i'm buildin a better random number generator
"and it should throw even less"
"faults"
+9++
oops
+++
city high
'caramel'(remix)
+++
i dropped it dear it was
****in hot and
i thought it would be funny
+++
u'll have to do another one
+++
long as it turns out funny i dont care
"ok"
+++
takin paint off taxis
on a unicycle
after midnight is
not for little girls like u ok
+++
and dont you ****in forget it
ya sit down to pee
+++
anything
not specifically allowed is banned
+++
the red hot chilli peppers
'track no05'
+++
love singin to th dickless tracy downstairs
cause they gotta camera on ya in the
fortitude valley
ya better *** up and
**** it up for us dear
dickless tracy
we're havin a good time and
**** i'm stoned
+++
surely ya
got ears on that camera now
+++
i got a video camera in th tree
above yr head and i
got yr card number and
yr pin number and
soon as ya leave i'm gunna
take all yr money outta th
atm machine
do ya listen to th lyrics and
th **** smiels at me and
th four coppers
piss emsleves laughin cause
th guy didnt
just smiled and
yeah ok man
and chucked in
th hat
+++
takin th piss out of ppl live
in th strete is
edgy
+++
"only cause they knife ppl there after midnight"
not me
+++
ween
'push th little daisies'
+++
well i was singin there
one night and
this guy got murdered
just over there
th jam we were in was so good and
we had so many dancin
we didnt see any of it
first thing we knew
here comes th crime scene tape
nearly had to ****ft us
+++
when ya push th little daisies you;ve
kicked th bucket
+++
i ride down all th back alleys
nobody bothers me
+++
b2k
'bump bump bump'(remix 4)
+++
some of th bumps can be
interesting
hello
it's three young
lesbian women sharin a joint
why yes i am on a unicycle
how observant of you
yr obviously not stoend enough yet
i'd be delighted
+++
had to jump th fence
with th unicycle and uni to th shop for papers
and then she rolled th
biggest joint man
easy seven papers
+++
i ****in rolled along after that
+++
rock n roll
+++
roll on a unicycle and
rock on th drum
well i aint puttin u back on it
u got no rhythm
+++
joel turner and the modern day poets
'these kids'
+++
try singin and
if yr gunan rap can ya at least
remember yr playin with
musicians and
dont drown th music
+++
all wanna be th loudest and
hit th drum th biggest
usually th drum
not th mouth
not many mouths are
really big
+++
they walk by and
just hit th drum
+++
dont ask
or care
just hit th drum and
think they;re real
funny
+++
th kind of ****wit who asks me
where's yr other wheel ?
when i arrived at th gig
doin a one wheel
broadslide and left
a foot of rubber
in front of th hat
do i look like i ****in need it ?
+++
world is full of girls biek riders who
have ideas above their station
+++
ya game enough to ask me
as i go over th edge of th skatebowl
go voer th wall on one wheel
ya game enough to ask me as i
go over th edge
it's been done
where's yr other wheel ?
next ****head gets
a can of bourbon upside th head
+++
last time i hit th redcliffe bowl i
muffed a pile of ups
goin up th wall
it kept em mostly
quiet
+++
ted mulry gang
'jump in my car'
+++
cept for when i got air
goin over th wall
they kept their \miserable girls bike ridin
mouths firmly shut
and roll back to th car after of course
ridin straight over th four inch grind rail
love th way th
rim hits bottom and
th ****er rides straight over it
+++
i'm due to hit another shopping centre black
"i want another moving travellator"
+++
arlo guthrie
'alice's restaurant massacree'
+++
nah computer
ya paranoid git
not a massacre
black here go straight up
or down
moving travellators
+++
just gotta watch th
goin over th top
th edge thing
hit it too fast and
you'll never pull it up
before havin to do th transition
at th bottom
+++
no ****in brakes
+++
i pulled th brakes off my other unicycle
+++
was good over about twenty k's but
under that was for emergencies only
+++
"arlo's singin about a cliff"
hmm
+++
i'm goin for a shower
he'll still be singin
..
..
..
it's still goin
+++
trippy th hydro kangaroo
+++
wot's that trippy ?
sonny's got a broken leg
u tell th **** to bring back my bong and i'll think about it
+++
slimy windows hacks
+++
excuse me
+++
i love th undo***ented features
+++
dos had a magic number
+++
ya named yr file
with this magic number
as th first letter and
nuthin in th computer could see it
+++
well
+++
nuthin that came with it
could see it
+++
windows 95
if ya stuck a file or
folder
under th recycle bin
it didnt see it
+++
course there are
other tricks
but we dont talk about slack space anymore
+++
orchestral manouvres in the dark
'enola gay'
+++
way back in th early days we'd hide viruses in th slack space
+++
"its an old song too"
+++
bjork
'pagan poetry'
+++
hmm
+++
th unicycle
rolls along
it's beat
th beat of th msuic
comin in yr ears and
whoa betide anyone
who suffers to hear th music stop
suddenly
it usually means
a fall
+++
if it's too abrupt
th body reacts
stiffens and
th looseness
th oneness
stops
+++
it's early spring and i'm
ridin past bushes on th
bicycle track that
need a hair cut and
flowers everywhere
i'm watchin out for magpies
they divebomb this time of yr
andnto watchin otu for dogs
most of em i encounter
in this suburbia is
on a leash
+++
like normal
we all didnt realise
how much we loved steve irwin
till he was gone
+++
james blunt
'you're beautiful'
+++
safe to love him now
he's got no ego
+++
one of th last
men
on th planet
my father
marko
never heard of u but
he woulda liked yr larrikin spirit
+++
they smile and laugh dad
at somethin most of em are
scared ****less to do
+++
ok old man
i went up th wall
many many times
before i had th stones to go
down it
+++
flight sim 95
'GEARUP'
+++
tenacious d
'cock pushups'
+++
dont know how u woulda handled
tenacious d
old man
+++
happy fathers day
it's been so long i
forgot
+++
cake
'i will survive'
+++
ah man i dunno
dunno if u can ever forgive ya for
pullin a bead on me and
lettin fly
+++
i got an intact head though
cant say th same for th old lady or
her boyfriend
+++
hell of a way to divorce yr wife
+++
scottie's in th doghouse
she's thrown him out again
even though he aint been there three months
+++
weird hey
+++
i had fun playin lara croft in yr other son's
land rover today
dont look at me liek that
i used it to go buy drugs in
well ok then
+++
well if you didnt make me
drive to th pub for ya
when i was 14 then
i might let up on ya
+++
then shut th **** up
+++
we gotta good relation****p
+++
he's a big fat ****
no i take that back
he's a BIG fat ****
breakin tiles everywhere today
get off th roof ya fat ****
+++
there's a fiddler on th roof
+++
jebediah
'fall down'
+++
machine gun or nail gun dad
u choose
+++
semi glaze he calls em
no rails and
th pointing bled like ****
red as
ah man
+++
well
cause th pointing
was disintegrating
we were walkin on th
detritus
underfoot
white socks
sticks best to terra cotta
****ed if i know
+++
made it sandy
but it wasnt steep so
i didnt have any heart attacks
he had two
+++
****im
eat less
+++
pink floyd
'sheep'
+++
th lamb aint harmin me
u eat steak too much
+++
a heart attack is
th tile underneath u
breaks and
u've lost yr footing
how good is yr balance ?
i bunny hop unicycles
i stand on one foot
on th caps
+++
and watch th content sheep wandering by
+++
how can i
ride a unicycle with my eyes closed
in th surf
or hang off th edge of a roof
painting th barge caps by hand
how can you
just sit there and watch
the edge
+++
finding
holes in th wind
on a unicycle
in th stiff seabreeze gusts
+++
all of a sudden
wot was holding u
up
is not
and th unicycle stick tips forward
instant acceleration
whether u want it or not
+++
this afternoon it was
a following breeze
i did my usual
shark motions up th length of th big street and
jumped this and that
+++
wave upon wave
drunken and mind****ed nightclubbers
comin out of a rock venue
in
the fortitude valley
yummie
th unicycle peels thru them like
i'm a shark
with a fin th size that i'm wearing
ya better get out of th road
it ****in flies
no ****ING brakes
he cries
instant laneway
better
be quiet and
dont let em know
th uni is sneakin thru th crowd
all they hear is th
ppl
behind em
gigglin
cause yr next
and if she chirps
right next to ya
leaves a black slide and
th crowd behind yours
piss emelves laughin
+++
jebediah
'harpoon'
+++
they call me sharkie
ya dont harpoon sharks cockhead
+++
never put a pedestrian in hospital
to my knowledge in
six yrs
nightclubber surfin
+++
so out of it
if ya do read their minds all ya get is
is that a monocycle or
****it
i'll call it a tricycle
+++
just like me
they long to be
comfortably numb
+++
half an hour on th beast and
i got no agats
cant feel a thing
+++
coffee...
+++
heather small
'proud'
+++
with my nuts
+++
"come nippleclamp, away"
i am not callin my unicycle nippleclamp
janie doesnt deserve it
have you abused that unicycle ?
"i called it a **** this morning"
what did she do ?
"dripped on th passenger seat of th car"
just liek a girlfriend hey
+++
george
'thats when you come to me'
+++
that;s when you *** to me
more like it
makes me ****in wet
+++
ok journal of mine
i'll catch ya next time
we've got twenty bucks to throw away
+++
i ejaculate
therefore i am
..
..
..
pirate jenny
"the land surfer"
+++
p.s.
nirvana
'on a plain'
