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Alternative > Paranormal, Crop-circles > The Bible Inter...
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The Bible Interpreted

by HVAC <MR.HVAC@[EMAIL PROTECTED] > May 11, 2008 at 04:08 AM

"Women should be silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to
speak, but should be submissive, as the law also says."(1 Corinthians
14:34)


Interpretation: Women should get on their knees and start sucking



"If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to
enter into life maimed, rather than having two hands, to go to hell,
into the fire that shall never be quenched." (Mark 9:43)


Interpretation: I'm not really sure. Something to do with jerking off
maybe?



"One of illegitimate birth shall not enter the congregation of the
Lord." (Deuteronomy 23:2)



Interpretation: "No ****s Allowed"


"Slaves, obey your human masters with fear and trembling, in the
sincerity of your heart, as to Christ." (Ephesians 6:5)


Interpretation: This means it's OK to own slaves


"If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not
engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he
must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never
be allowed to divorce her." (Deuteronomy 22:28-29


Interpretation: This one seems very harsh. No divorce? What if she's a
*****?


"It is easier for Heaven and Earth to pass away than for the smallest
part of the letter of the law to become invalid." (Luke 16:17 )


Interpretation: Don't speed on the nation's highways
 




 4 Posts in Topic:
The Bible Interpreted
HVAC <MR.HVAC@[EMAIL P  2008-05-11 04:08:48 
Re: The Bible Interpreted
"Mike Painter"   2008-05-11 10:09:17 
Re: The Bible Interpreted
Lorrill Buyens <buyens  2008-05-12 19:19:20 
Re: The Bible Interpreted
"Hagar" <hag  2008-05-15 07:24:54 

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tan12V112 Thu Jul 24 21:47:27 CDT 2008.