Re: Asking for Words of Advice...

ravenstorm27 wrote:

> I live in Boston and my husband and I have been together for 8 years,
> married for four (MM couple). This year we reached a growth point/
> comfort zone where we decided to open our relation****p. We are
> fortunate to have several wonderful, long lasting poly models in our
> lives. And we are both clear that this is NOT about "the ***" but as
> we've grown together our tastes have diversified in both personality
> and body type. We love each other very much, this is exciting for us,
> and we hope at some point to have lovers (separately or as a couple)
> that we can socialize with and spend time with.
> 
> As this is our first experience of polyamory, I would welcome any
> advice from those that have come before. Ironically, my husband has
> been open to this from the start, but held back because he didn't want
> to "freak me out" at a time when I had weathered some relation****ps
> with anything but trust and needed some stability/security. Now we are
> both stronger, more confident and more self-assured and are ready to
> take this next step. Any thoughts/experiences that we can benefit from
> are very much welcome.

It sounds to me as if you're off to a good start: a stable relation****p, 
mature points of view, mutual agreement. That's no guarantee that 
everything will go smoothly, but you should be in a good position to 
work out whatever bumps you encounter.

If you haven't already, you might want to read the alt.poly FAQs, 
archived at http://www.polyamory.org/.
I found them very useful when 
first dipping my toe in these waters - particularly the one labeled "How 
to f*** up," which is sort of a litany of all the wrong approaches to 
poly (or, in many cases, relation****ps in general).

Otherwise, feel free to ask specific questions about things that 
interest or trouble you. We're full of advice and opinions (worth 
exactly what you pay for them, of course), and generally a pretty 
friendly bunch. Folks here do have their hot buttons (generalizing your 
experience onto everyone else will usually get a rise out of someone, as 
will talking about "the poly lifestyle"), but we mostly don't bit. (-:

-- 
Pat Kight
kightp@[EMAIL PROTECTED]