Re: Asking for Words of Advice...

ravenstorm27 wrote:
> I live in Boston and my husband and I have been together for 8 years,
> married for four (MM couple). This year we reached a growth point/
> comfort zone where we decided to open our relation****p. We are
> fortunate to have several wonderful, long lasting poly models in our
> lives. And we are both clear that this is NOT about "the ***" but as
> we've grown together our tastes have diversified in both personality
> and body type. We love each other very much, this is exciting for us,
> and we hope at some point to have lovers (separately or as a couple)
> that we can socialize with and spend time with.

This sounds lovely!

> As this is our first experience of polyamory, I would welcome any
> advice from those that have come before. 

You've been pointed at the FAQ already. I also just recommend 
continuing to communicate and respect each other.  In addition, I 
think it's a good idea to talk about all your feelings, including 
the negative ones, but to choose as neutral a time to talk about 
them as you can manage.  For example, I tried not to bug my partner 
with my feelings of jealousy when he was on his way out for a date 
with his new sweetie; instead, during a calm, loving time later, I 
could say "I'm so happy with you; I just wish I could eliminate all 
this jealousy, because it feels like an alien has taken over my brain."

 > Ironically, my husband has
> been open to this from the start, but held back because he didn't want
> to "freak me out" at a time when I had weathered some relation****ps
> with anything but trust and needed some stability/security.

He sounds like a keeper. :-)

 > Now we are
> both stronger, more confident and more self-assured and are ready to
> take this next step. Any thoughts/experiences that we can benefit from
> are very much welcome.

Stick around.  This place has been a lifesaver for me over the 
years; it's a great place to get not only answers, but a useful 
lexicon with which to discuss complicated relation****p matters.

Serene