dealing with poly insecurity - resources? advice?

Hi - I'm new to this newsgroup and thought I'd ask - I did a search of
alt.polyamory for 'insecurity' and it came up with over 2000 results.
I'm finding the process of wading through it a little daunting, but I
could really use some insights - both for me, on dealing with my
insecurities, and for my long-term primary partner, who is gritting
his teeth putting up with mine. Is it acceptable to write about my
specific problem and solicit advice? Or, is there any collection of
advice, anecdotes or insights out there on the subject, from the
alt.polyamory newsgroup in particular? (I think I've read everything
else!) This group has such a long history that I'm a little afraid of
"reinventing the wheel" and annoying everyone.
Cheers,
montauk