In article <fut0v3$anc$1@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>, JK <jk.usenet@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>Aahz Maruch wrote:
>> In article <fur8r1$nht$1@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>, JK <jk.usenet@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
wrote:
>>> Stef wrote:
>>>> If it's reassurance that he's not going to leave you - well,
>>>> realistically, how can he know that? He is going through a lot of
>>>> emotional changes, and it's entirely possible that he will leave you.
No
>>>> wonder that isn't reassuring, because there's no way to know if it's
>>>> true. People can't predict their future actions.
>>> But it's not like human behavior is Brownian motion. That's what
>>> "commitment" is all about, right? Certainly people can't fully
predict
>>> their future actions, but one can operate with the intention to behave
>>> in a particular way, even if they don't completely follow through.
>>
>> Unfortunately, even the mildly paranoid can't always predict who's
going
>> to suddenly and spectacularly go through a case of mind-rot that
utterly
>> upsets zir relation****ps. Case in point: a person who had a long-term
>> connection to two of my partners dumped both of them (and some other
>> partners) five weeks after meeting someone new.
>
>That may have seemed sudden to the partners, but for the person
>doing the dumping, the change happened over the course of five
>weeks.
When you've been with someone for 10 or 20 years, a change that happens
over the course of 5 weeks and results in dumpage is very sudden, even
if the process is communicated adequately over the course of the 5 weeks.
Also, sometimes the person has behaved somewhat like that before but it
hasn't resulted in dumpage, so one might be thinking "OK, another one of
these intense infatuations and zie'll get over it" and then wham, zie
decides to move in with the new person and be monogamous.
--
Stef ** stef@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
**
** cat-and-dragon.com/stef ** firecat.livejournal.com **
**
A great swindle of our time is the assumption that science has made
religion obsolete. All science has damaged is the story of Adam and Eve
and the story of Jonah and the Whale. Everything else holds up pretty
well, particularly lessons about fairness and gentleness. People who
find those lessons irrelevant in the twentieth century are simply using
science as an excuse for greed and harshness. Science has nothing to do
with it, friends. -- Kurt Vonnegut, Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons
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