Stef wrote:
> In article <futg6a$83q$1@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>, JK <jk.usenet@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
wrote:
>> Stef wrote:
>>> In article <fut0v3$anc$1@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>, JK <jk.usenet@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
wrote:
>>>> Aahz Maruch wrote:
>>>>> In article <fur8r1$nht$1@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>, JK <jk.usenet@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
wrote:
>>>>>> Stef wrote:
>>>>>>> If it's reassurance that he's not going to leave you - well,
>>>>>>> realistically, how can he know that? He is going through a lot of
>>>>>>> emotional changes, and it's entirely possible that he will leave
you. No
>>>>>>> wonder that isn't reassuring, because there's no way to know if
it's
>>>>>>> true. People can't predict their future actions.
>>>>>> But it's not like human behavior is Brownian motion. That's what
>>>>>> "commitment" is all about, right? Certainly people can't fully
predict
>>>>>> their future actions, but one can operate with the intention to
behave
>>>>>> in a particular way, even if they don't completely follow through.
>>>>> Unfortunately, even the mildly paranoid can't always predict who's
going
>>>>> to suddenly and spectacularly go through a case of mind-rot that
utterly
>>>>> upsets zir relation****ps. Case in point: a person who had a
long-term
>>>>> connection to two of my partners dumped both of them (and some other
>>>>> partners) five weeks after meeting someone new.
>>>> That may have seemed sudden to the partners, but for the person
>>>> doing the dumping, the change happened over the course of five
>>>> weeks.
>>> When you've been with someone for 10 or 20 years, a change that
happens
>>> over the course of 5 weeks and results in dumpage is very sudden, even
>>> if the process is communicated adequately over the course of the 5
weeks.
>> I guess it's a matter of perspective -- my 13-year relation****p
>> effectively ended in about three days. Five weeks would have been
>> comfortably glacial :-\
>
> I'm sorry for your loss. :-(
Well, it was a while ago (my current relation****p of ~1.5 years
is fine). I don't think I've ever had a breakup last as long
as five weeks, except in one case where it dragged out for
several months. All those relation****ps were of a serial-monogamy
nature (at least from my POV), so disengagement may have been less
complicated than in a poly situation.
-- JK
--
I do not particularly want to go where the money is -
it usually does not smell nice there. -- A. Stepanov
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