Re: Should I stay or should I go?

On Tue, 13 May 2008 10:18:11 +1000, Aqua <aqua@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
wrote:

>John Palmer wrote:
>> On 12 May 2008 07:26:35 -0700, aahz@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
 (Aahz Maruch) wrote:
>> 
>>> In article <s976249uopa6atboia6c2vfpgidcsq6k2j@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>,
>>> John Palmer  <jpalmer1@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>>>> On 8 May 2008 07:16:11 -0700, aahz@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
 (Aahz Maruch) wrote:
>>>>> In article
<bcca88d3-93cb-4e48-bc6c-9fcd77ea11bf@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>,
>>>>> Lane  <absolutelane@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>>>>>> I only hope that the mood returns for lively discussion and
persuasion
>>>>>> and the tendency to personal swipes starts again to diminish.
>>>>> You're joking, right?  This is Usenet, after all.
>>>>>
>>>>>> I still don't know how my being called an asshole is a reason for
>>>>>> marriage proposals. Oh wait, I forgot. It's because I don't get it.
>>>>> Roughly, yeah.
>>>>>
>>>>> To put it another way, in case you're interested: the marriage
proposals
>>>>> had less to do with calling you an asshole than with cheering on you
>>>>> getting called on your ***ism.  Had a different forceful but pungent
>>>>> wording been written without foul language, it would likely have
received
>>>>> the same response.
>>>> Possibly. But I would guess that hearing someone cheered on for use
of
>>>> a personal insult ends up feeling very different from having someone
>>>> cheered on for a powerful argument. The latter seems like it's
>>>> cheering on the argument, the former, like it's cheering the insult,
>>>> and hence, approving it, and essentially re-sending it.
>>> Except, of course, that I said nothing about avoiding personal
insults.
>> 
>> I believe that "except" would best be used if I had said, suggested,
>> implied, or allowed a valid inference, that you had said something
>> about avoiding personal insults. 
>
>Hmmm.  My reading was that it was an implication (an exclusive-or) you 
>introduced to the conversation, which Aahz wanted to nip in the bud. 
>And I agree with Aahz.

Okay. Check me on this.

A says something to C. 

B says "marry me".

Aahz says "I think B would have had the same reaction had it been said
differently."

I say "I think, however, that it feels very different to C if what is
said is a personal insult". 

Same reaction ("marry me") can create different feelings depending on
the contents of what A said to C. 

That has nothing to do with avoiding personal insults. It has solely
to do with the reaction. In short: Although the reaction might have
been the same, I understand how it might feel very different to Lane.

Aahz didn't say anything about avoiding personal insults. Neither did
I. I merely pointed out that I could see a difference in feeling in
the cir***stances described.

It's relevant to the conversation; Lane complained about something,
and I mentioned that I see a way that his feelings might change under
changing cir***stances.


John Palmer

*Email should be directed to my first name, no space, my last name, at
newsguy, with a com extension.
--
Everything I needed to know in life I learned in Kindergarten.  Like: 
A pain one has chosen is easier to bear than one unchosen, and knowing
that one can leave makes the leaving less necessary