Re: Pesky Gender, another rant [was: First posting...

In article <srdp241kh889frp5dri0h6lcn01et72pnv@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>,
Kai Jones  <snippy@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>On Thu, 15 May 2008 22:00:22 +0000 (UTC), piglet@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
 (Blunt and
>Opaque) published this:
>
>>Kai Jones <snippy@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>, in article
><2r1p2452k0dj1n3tvc00403jlu51gnouhh@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>, dixit:
>>>Nice is overrated.
>>>But then I would say that.  Nobody ever remarks on how nice I am. 
>>
>>Not to your face!
>
>Nice has never been one of my goals.  If I'm nice, it's accidental.  I
>have too much stuff to work on that seems more im****tant to me than
>being nice. 

I don't think anyone, especially any women, should have a goal of being
nice unless they want to. I think women are pressured into being nice
all the time and it gets in the way of our demanding our rights and
being full members of society. 

Personally, I have a goal of being kind when possible. Is nice the same
as kind, in your lexicon?

>Nice is pushy.  That nasty neighbor rudely suggesting that your kid's
>hair is too long and offering to cut it for you huffs "I was only
>trying to be nice!" if you tell them you like your little boy with a
>braid down his back.  

I don't think that it's nice to criticize someone else's appearance
unless they asked for an honest opinion. 

And although this is not about niceness per se, it's about etiquette, I
think a "neighbor" relation****p is not one in which it is appropriate to
make an unsolicited offer to cut someone's hair. 
--
Stef  **  stef@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
 **
    ** cat-and-dragon.com/stef ** firecat.livejournal.com **
  **
When my father died it was like a whole library / Had burned down. 
-- Laurie Anderson, "World Without End"