Re: Pesky Gender, another rant [was: First posting...

epc123@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
 wrote:
>Can't speak for alt.poly nor for Piglet, but my private across state and 
>nation relation****ps are based on very public interactions on usenet and 
>at face-to-face usenet gatherings.  I can think of at least one person 
>here with whom I would have no relation****p at all, had I not met zir in 
>person about *gasp* 15 years ago.  And there are two others towards whom 
>I feel very kindly and who appear to feel kindly towards me with whom 
>I'm not sure I've ever exchanged email, nor have I met them in person.

Had I known that about you, I would have likely not emailed you. Such 
relation****ps would seem entirely impersonal and unsatisfying to me. I 
like my relation****ps to approximate real life as much as possible, 
which usually means daily emails and phone calls if face to face 
interaction is geographically difficult.

>If you go to a party, do you immediately approach people and ask them to 
>leave with you to go get coffee?

No, but I try to find somewhere private or secluded so that we can 
actually hear each other talk.

>Do you insist that they shouldn't have 
>brought their wallets with them if they weren't willing to go get coffee 
>with you?

They didn't know they'd find me, much less that I'd want to have coffee 
with them or pay for it. So, bringing their wallets made sense for them 
as individuals.

>What's wrong with wanting to stay at the party?

Too much human counterpoint for me to handle. I like small groups or one 
on one interaction best. I don't do well at parties. Imagine standing in 
the middle of a room with a sonic barrage coming at you from every 
direction. Imagine all sorts of smells wafting in from the kitchen 
without being able to pinpoint where anything is located, much less grab 
it. Imagine being dependent on other people at the party from everything 
to hanging up your coat to having a drink or something to eat. Imagine 
having to ask where the bathroom is because you can't see it for 
yourself. Imagine walking on eggshells for fear of tripping on some 
antique furniture or a stray bike that your host failed to tell you was 
in your path. This is my party experience. If I am occasionally willing 
to endure all that, why would I be satisfied with a few fleeting 
pleasantries shouted over the din of a crowd and loud music?

Orlando