Re: hi from Idaho

On Jul 22, 12:06 pm, spop...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
 (Steve Pope) wrote:

> There is no single point of view behind a preference for cheating,
> but from what I have seen the number one motivation comes down
> to a simple control issue.
>
> The cheated-upon person lacks full information, hence their
> range of behavior/reaction is limited by this lack of information,
> hence the cheating person maintains more control over the
> behavior of the cheated-upon person.



Hear ! Hear!

Thank you Steve! That is *precisely* the understanding I've been
trying to convey  in my own clumsy way to my Dear One.

Because of that power - control dynamic, I recognize the total
sovereignty of my partner. She is, in a very absolute sense, free to
do whatever she wants with whomever she wants whenever she wants.
(That's not me, 'giving permission' more like 'stating the obvious.')

Having said all that. . . neither of us is 'free' to deceive the
other: Do what you will, harm none, and be honest about it. That's the
baseline behavior.

Disclosure is the universal solvent that washes away all deception.
(I better watch it, my catharsis is starting to sound catholic!)

..s