Re: hi from Idaho

In article <Xb6dnfbrx-njmRvVnZ2dnUVZ_vqdnZ2d@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>,
Phoenix  <druppert@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>anarii@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
 wrote:
>> hmm looks like oopsied, I thought I send the message to the board. I
>> dont mean people here cheat. I mean most of the people we come in
>> contact with. They dont want to be upfront and honest with their
>> spouses, and they want us to help them cheat. It really bothers me,
>> and it's not something I want to get mixed up in.
>
>I don't blame you. It bothers me, too...and I won't do it. I don't 
>understand, like you, how that can be OK with cheating but think that 
>there's something wrong with poly. Huh?? Makes my brain go "ow" trying 
>to figure it out.

I understand at least some of the mindsets that lead to "cheating is OK"
and even that lead to "cheating is OK and poly isn't." They have to do
with experiencing jealousy as an out-of-control force, and with notions
of what's private and what's harmful. 

Poly really is a very different philosophy of relation****ps than the one
many of us grew up with. And for some people the transition can be hard.

I grew up with those mindsets and it was hard for me to transition to a
poly philosophy but I really vastly prefer it. It's so much simpler to
be able to express my love for multiple people without having to keep
secrets.
--
Stef  **  stef@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
 **
    ** cat-and-dragon.com/stef ** firecat.livejournal.com **
  **
WRITING TIP FOR PROFESSIONALS: To make your writing more appealing to
the reader, avoid "writing negatively." Use positive expressions instead. 

WRONG:  "Do not use this appliance in the bathtub." 
RIGHT:  "Go ahead and use this appliance in the bathtub." --Dave Barry