Re: hi from Idaho

songbird wrote:
> Serene Vannoy wrote:
>> anarii@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
 wrote:
>>> On Jul 21, 10:36 pm, Serene Vannoy <ser...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>>>> nipolycouple wrote:
>>>>> Thanks for telling me that it can work.
>>>>> We were told all through our lives that you had to be monogomous
>>>>> and it really never made sence.  There are billions of people out
>>>>> there and you are only allowed to love one?
>>>> Yeah, that's not the way I work. I know there are people who are
>>>> perfectly happy loving one person at a time, and who never fall in
>>>> love with a new person when they already have a partner. I'm just
>>>> not one of them.
>>
>>> I'm still trying to figure out why everyone seems to be ok with
>>> cheating.
>>
>> I don't think everyone is.  I do think that some people seem to prefer
>> the idea of cheating to the idea of poly, and my theory is that the
>> idea of being open about having multiple lovers scares them.
> 
>  i also think that it involves selfishness, being lazy
> and then that thing mentioned earlier, control.
> 
>  being open can take a lot more work, to explain
> and figure out what is and isn't working out and
> what changes to make that will help everyone
> thrive.

*nod* While I have no direct experience with cheating (from either 
side), I've witnessed plenty of it, and I sometimes wonder if secrecy is 
viewed as an easy way out. If you (well, not *you*, generic "you") are 
****ing someone on the sly and nobody else knows about it, perhaps you 
imagine it will be easier to dump them when you're done.

Theoretically, anyway: I've certainly seen some Real Drama generated by 
such breakups...

--
Pat Kight
kightp@[EMAIL PROTECTED]