Lane wrote:
> On Jul 23, 10:02 am, Pat Kight <kig...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>> songbird wrote:
>>> Serene Vannoy wrote:
>>>> ana...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
wrote:
>>>>> On Jul 21, 10:36 pm, Serene Vannoy <ser...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>>>>>> nipolycouple wrote:
>>>>>>> Thanks for telling me that it can work.
>>>>>>> We were told all through our lives that you had to be monogomous
>>>>>>> and it really never made sence. There are billions of people out
>>>>>>> there and you are only allowed to love one?
>>>>>> Yeah, that's not the way I work. I know there are people who are
>>>>>> perfectly happy loving one person at a time, and who never fall in
>>>>>> love with a new person when they already have a partner. I'm just
>>>>>> not one of them.
>>>>> I'm still trying to figure out why everyone seems to be ok with
>>>>> cheating.
>>>> I don't think everyone is. I do think that some people seem to
prefer
>>>> the idea of cheating to the idea of poly, and my theory is that the
>>>> idea of being open about having multiple lovers scares them.
>>> i also think that it involves selfishness, being lazy
>>> and then that thing mentioned earlier, control.
>>> being open can take a lot more work, to explain
>>> and figure out what is and isn't working out and
>>> what changes to make that will help everyone
>>> thrive.
>> *nod* While I have no direct experience with cheating (from either
>> side), I've witnessed plenty of it, and I sometimes wonder if secrecy
is
>> viewed as an easy way out.
>
> That certainly seems true for some people, and not just about
> cheating. The lies I have seen some people make to, say, excuse
> themselves from work, and the lies they have to make to cover up the
> lies, and so on, has just amazed me. To me, that is far more work than
> honesty and its consequences.
>
> Of course, it could just be that I'm a terrible liar.
it's far more work in the long run, but less work now.
i suspect a lot of lying is due to an inability to forecast the future
accurately, and taking the easy way out now, rather than the easy way
out in the long run.
betsy,
not bitter! not me!
--
If you didn't hate me so much for merely emailing you, I'd express
empathy. But now, I hope you hurt a lot. --Orlando Fiol, 29 Apr 2008
betsy at mooseparty dot org
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